to do list today

ponteng kerja

go to clinic. check my one-week-old cough

get an mc

tido

bangun

tido

---

and they say life is interesting.

irony? i bluntly say bullshit. lol.

asia ceramic

in the mood for multiple updates today. first, asia ceramic.

http://www.bnm.gov.my/index.php?ch=8&pg=14&ac=1880

i'm not going to comment on BNM's action. it's their duty to investigate any monetary-related cases or suspicious transactions by legitimate or illegitimate companies.

indeed, this company have a weird taste of a business plan.

buying a cheapo clay for more than a thousand bucks is strange enough. and selling it back for a higher price? hurm...

one may suspect this is the case of money laundering. a racket of crime syndicate trying to make illegitimate money usable in mass market. seems like a movie, but plausible.

well, suffice to say i certainly hope it's not what i thought it is. and too bad for anyone who recently chuck their money in. BNM will freeze the money and looking at previous record of BNM investigations, god knows when they will release the money.

---

http://www.azizwan.com/wah-asia-ceramic-memang-hot/

looking at this link, one might say it's related to the news above.

sadly, it's just a cheap ass bastard trying to push his website up the google search to attract traffics.

and its fucking annoying to find out the link i just clicked on is just a waste of bandwidth.

eff. at least write something lah... ugh!

crazy A319 takeoff

credit to http://flyfreakmatter.blogspot.com/2009/05/ter-kench-or-ter-berry.html

sorry to the blog owner if she felt that merely re-post that video is lame.

mahu tahu apa perasaan nek kapal terbang dengan sekor pilot sewel?



luls!

confession

ini adalah post pengakuan. kalau rasa masalah korang sendiri dah terlampau banyak, dinasihatkan jangan baca. kang pening kepala korang. ahah.

and i warn you, this post will sound a bit cheeky, bold and seems aggressively arrogant. luls. and maybe, to ambitious.

dah warning dah, so pandai2 la korang. jangan pas baca komen2 pelik2 plak ahah.

kamu tahu apa cita cita aku dari kecik? masa umur 7 tahun rasanya, aku join rombongan nganto nenek sedara pegi haji. kat bayan lepas, pulau pinang. masa tu meriah. macam pasar malam kat situ. hampar tikar, berkelah ramai2. seronoknya. tapi kamu tahu apa yang paling menyeronokkan dalam kepala hotak 7 tahun aku masa tu?

tengok Boeing 747 teksi kat runway (when a plane is moving around an airport, we call it taxiing) luls.


a Boeing 747-400 taxiing on a runway. What a beauty.

fuh. aku tengok gergasi betui kapalterbang. macam mana dia bulih terbang nih? musykil aku. tapi memandangkan masa tu internet pun takdak lagi kat malaysia rasanya, so aku tokleh nak google hahahahah. tapi dalam hati aku dah pasang niat kuat-kuat "AKU NAK JADIK PILOT SATU HARI NANTI". bijak kan palotak aku masa tu? macam mana la aku bulih tau kapal terbang tu ade 2 ekor manusia bawak. ahahah. tapi aku tanya gak la bapak aku sapa yang pakai peak caps + epaulette + kot yang ader stripe kat lengan + tie itam. oh sungguh kacaklah jika aku dapat pakai. kan kan kan? uniform pilot tuh ahah.


:D

so sampailah sekolah menengah cita-cita aku macam tu. and i deserve having such a high ambition, because i was in an "elite school" lah kononnya. ahahah. talking about produk gagal :b

after school, i have a few choices, go straight into MAS or SIA cadetship. I wouldn't remember if MARA was sponsoring pilot students back then (2004) and i just knew they did in 2007.


singapore girls? (SIA stewardess)


or malaysian girls? luls! (MAS stewardess)

however, to go to SIA cadetship, you need to have a bachelor's degree, which didn't have, so i was left with two choices: do my degree first or directly go into MAS cadetship.

and i did not pick he latter. you know why? SIA's fleet are mostly widebody, and cater for long haul journey, so when you first enter SIA as second/first officer, chances are, you will be assigned to any widebody aircraft, unlike MAS, where you will be assigned to a 737 or fokker 50 first (both are 'small' aircraft).

plus, having a degree AND a flying license will give you an edge over someone who doesn't, right? don't argue my shallow statement, but MOST of us will think that it's cooler to have both, isn't it? =b

and luckily for me, at that time, this *ehem* company is offering me a place to pursue an engineering degree in its private university. i said to myself "this is an opportunity!". i will finish my degree first, then go to SIA!

apparently, that's not the case for me. 2009 was the suwey year for me. first, SIA stopped taking Malaysian cadets. second, MAS stopped its cadetship programme. third, MARA also rumoured to sponsor the last batch of pilot cadets in May 2009. fourth, i had a tumor as big as my fist inside my guts. fifth, i was dumped by my girlfriend. oh, lari topik plak lol.

and now, to pursue my ambition would be an uphill task. where can i find 275k to pay for the course? sure, banks can give out loans, but where can i find collateral for the loans?

and if i did manage to find the money, would i pass the Class I Medical Examination to qualify for the course with this 'thing' inside my perut?

sekarang? redha sajalah. mungkin itu bukan yang terbaik untukku. mana tau kalau bawak nanti, eksiden, mati ramai2. bek aku tayah bawak. tak apelah, jadik construction man pun takdelah susah sangat. berbakti kat negara jugak. buat landasan ketapi letrik tuh. bangga seh. hins.

dah tak larat aku pendam rasa. menangis dalam hati pasal benda-benda macam ni yang sangat-sngat menyakitkan hati yang semua jadik tahun ni jugak. apa boleh buat. no pain, no gain.



skang kumpul model sajalah. malam-malam, main sorang2 dlm bilik cam budak-budak. wiu wiu wiu. hahahahah. pathetic kan? tak apa. se pathetic aku pun, tak kacau orang. susah aku sorang. senang aku sher dgn mak ayah. sedih aku nangis sorang. ketawa, ramai2. kang orang kata gila plak ketawa sorang2.

sejujurnya, aku kecewa dengan diri sendiri sebenarnya. aku boleh pergi lebih jauh. dan mendapat yang lebih baik. nak buat macam mana. takdir sudah macam tu. otak geliga macam mana pun, kalau Allah cakap takleh pi mana, duduk situ sajalah.

grievances over dead dreams may shed the light on a better reality. - ni quote aku sendiri.

doa sajalah.

bosan siak

kepada sesiapa berminat untuk menemani jejaka kesepian unuk makan-makan di mapley sambil bersembang pasal benda-benda merapu ataupun menyumpah seranah hidup yang tak best ataupun berkongsi pengalaman cinta ataupun mempunyai masalah cinta, sila tinggalkan pesanan di shoutbox.

kami berjanji tidak menghampakan anda.

luls.

tag by belle the hot kanak kanak

1. Adakah anda suka blogging? Kenapa?

jawapan pendek: tak suka. tak dak sebab

jawapan panjang sikit: kadang-kadang suka. depends kat keadaan

jawapan panjang: suka, terutamanya bila ada good news. im not really fond of emo-blogging but i did it, occassionally :b



2. Blog siapa yg anda selalu skodeng? Nyatakan 5 (buat masa ini)

blogroll kat sebelah ni yang selalu update. malas nak bloghopping, unless betoi2 bosan n takde keje.



3. Adakah anda menginginkan seseorang dalam hidup anda ? Yang boleh menyayangi anda sepenuh hati ? dan Siapakah org itu ?

kamu pasti tahu kamu orangnya. kalau tak terasa maknanya bukan kamu la orangnya. tak perlu elaboration rasanya hahah.


5. Pernah tak cinta anda tidak di balas?

loser sahaja akan bercerita tentang cinta tak kesampaian


6. Ciri2 idaman bf/gf anda? Nyatakan 5 (btolkan skit: suami/isteri)

aku tak memilih. so takde ciri-ciri idaman.rigid sangatlah soalan ni.



7. Pada umur berapakah anda merancang untuk berkahwin?

jawapan tak serius langsung: 16

jawapan agak serius: tunggu sampai kaya

jawapan separa serius: sampai redi

jawapan serius: 30



8. Nak berapa anak?

sorang


9. Lucky person yg anda ingin tag:

since tahun ni aku tak berapa lucky, aku takmo tag sapa-sapa.

sekian.

aku benci ujan

kenapa aku benci ujan:
- safety boot baru aku tercemar dengan onar2 berupa selut dan lumpur.
- site aku betul-betul bawah parit air, pas ujan bertakung cam neherem. siap ada ikan haruan 2-3 ekor tersangkut situ. rezeki bangla lol.
- tanah lembut. misin takleh masuk site. nanti sangkut.
- kena sewa pam air. duit lagi. dah la main con kaki tekan cam sial. depa ingat ujan ni ada suis on off ka
- balik umah nek moto pukul 530. on the way hujan lebat. sial.
- pekan BM jem cam neherem. tambah-tambah kalau hujan. ataupun ada nyonya rabun bawak kete besar2 tapi tak reti pakai gear 3,4,5. amoi aku salute. kete honda city, tapi cam bawak F1.

dan aku ngaku aku duk site secara haram. xde green card, takde induction course. hahah. kena saman bes nih.

sekian construction man melaporkan.

this is a lul post

luls!

aku mengaku

aku mengaku aku fetish leher yang ader choker.

puas hati? aku dah ngaku dlm blog. giliran ko pulak.

ps- ini spam semata-mata. sila ignore jika tiada kaitan dengan kamu.

antara pakcik dan abang, dalam masa 12 jam

ini extreme makeover. maaf, bukan plastic surgery. tapi kisah realiti. daripada seorang pakcik, menjadi seorang abang. hanya 12 jam!

ikuti rahsianya sebentar lagi.

tahukah anda, sepupu-sepupu saya yang rata-rata berumur 1-5 tahun, baru tumbuh gigi dan belajar berkata-kata, memanggil saya pakcik. ya, betul. pakcik. dan saya seringkali ditanya "adik cikgu ka?" setiap kali pergi ke kenduri kendara ataupun ke mana-mana bersama ayah. ataupun "adik ustazah ka?" jika bersama ibu saya.

paling best? "tu bapak ustazah ka tu?" tatkala menghantar ibu mengajar disekolah. saya tak salahkan mereka walaupun rasanya mahu saja cili2kan mulut mungil mereka. mungkin kerana mereka rata-ratanya berusia 8-9 tahun. mungkin kerana pada masa tersebut, saya masih mamai dan perlu bergegas menghantar ibu pada pukul 8pagi memakai kain pelikat dan berketayap yg belum ditanggalkan sejak subuh lagi.

haha. stendet lah. muka matured.

dan suatu hari, ketika singgah di kampung, kebetulan ramai pula anak-anak kecil merangkap sepupu-sepupuku di sana. sebagai seorang sepupu yang pengasih lagi penyayang, segera dihulur gula-gula sour plum yang sengaja dibeli sewaktu dalam perjalanan tadi.

"mama, mama! pakcik tu kasik ceklet!"

...

dem sungguh. rosak mood betul. nak penampa kesian, comel plak tu. nasep hang la intan. lol.

jadi bermalamlah di kampung pada malam tersebut.

keesokan paginya, berbekalkan shaver singgit yang dibeli entah bila, terjumpak dalam beg baju, terus melangkah kebilik air.

masa tu almaklumlah. baru abeh belajar. jadi bermalas malasan lah sedikit nak trim2 janggut ni. bukan setakat janggut. misai jambang dan macam2 bulu lagi ada.

sret2. lancar sahaja bilah2 pisau mencantas helai2 janggut yang keras bak dawai besi. alamak bulu tersangkut. ketuk2 shaver. sret2 lagi. terlekat lagi. ketuk shaver lagi.

dan akhirnya, clean shave. luls. muda dan tampan bergaya sungguh. rasa macam ghey plak usha cermin lama-lama sambil memuji diri dalam hati.

abeh bersiap, lepak kat luar, dengan bapak-bapak sedara. besela, kol 8 pagi, sapkok luh.

tiba2 intan berlari2 keluar bersama adiknya. londeh2 lampin mereka. bejat dgn air mutawasitah. belum bertukar dari semalam kot. sila jangan buat2 geli. kalau geli tu maknanya korang xnah balik kampung yang ramai dak2 kecik time raya.

terus pergi ke abah mereka, menarik2 seluar jeans levis ciplak yang longgar. yang tu pun nak terlondeh gak. luls.

"abah, mama panggil makan."

(ni utk pakcik aku)

"abang, mama panggil makan!"

(ni utk aku)

BWAHAHAHA. bangganya saya ketika itu tuhan sahaja yang tahu. semalam pakcik, hari ni abang? sukses. berjaya menentang penuaan dalam hanya 12jam sahaja. nyatalah aku memang kacak hari itu.

tapi...

haih kecewanya. kalau lah intan itu seorang gadis berusia 18 tahun.

semalam kerek, pakcik2 je, tiba2 hari ni "abang~ meh makan"

bestnye.potong janggut je dah leh jadik abang. awek leh sangkut. kan best kalo camtu je.

oh mengelamun seketika.

luls

sekian post mengarut dan memuji diri secara excessive. bajet muvi curious case of benjamin la leh jadik muda balik.

ps - sila nyatakan first impression korang terhadap aku, physically, secara ikhlas dan jujur. tapi jgn la kutuk lebeh2 plak hahah. ni blog aku weh =D

oh. dan sekarang aku amat suka amoi2.

comel. macam Grace Su.

okay, so now im in the mood to advocate sexism.

just take a luls at this video:



dont blame me. blame the faggot in my class. you dont have to iterate to us how much capable women are to men in doing tough jobs laa. we know it, and your tomboy looks just proves it. and feminism sucks. as always.

yours truly,

indie? skin? underground?

ade yang tak puas hati aku cakap Bunkface tak best. Maaf, aku ada sebab sendiri. Bunkface tak cukup perisa indie lah. suara komersial sangat, bek masuk mainstream terus. ini adalah satu complement, ok? puas hati?

"saya suka indie. xmcm awk."

"bunkface best lah."

"ikut suka la nk suka pun"

sila2. aku tak pernah larang orang suka apa, tak suka apa. everyone is entitled to their own opinion.tapi jangan lah pulak terus judge seseorang daripada satu statement saja. bukannya kenal sehari dua bai.

dulu aku layan gak semua. indie, underground, skin, punk etc. black metal je tak sempat. sbb aku dah quit masa tu. duduk kat pekan teronoh, nak pegi gig mananya. aku dulu manade trenspot lol. lgpun penah dengar member aku kena pow ngan teksi masa g gig kat kl. terus aku trauma.

prana,muck,nice stupid playground, o@g, ACAB, The Skatalites, The Special, The Selecter, carburetor dung tah pape lagi la.

yang plg aku minat acab. tp dulu2 jelah. masa still genre derang skin rock. skrg? dah jadik The ACAB. wth. more indie than skin. dah tak bes. tah ke mana slogan "pegi mati sama polis" pun aku tak tau. tak apalah. hak diorg.

kenapa aku dah stop layan underground ni? bila aku dengar megat, vokalis acab tulih tatu kat dada "I LOVE MY MUM `n` curb AL-QURAN".

tambah pulak masa tu aku kener pencerahan agung geng2 tablig. hahahahah. terus stop mende2 duniawi nih.

so, kalo korang tak tau OAG tu asalnya dari perkataan Old Automatic Garbage tayah la ngaku indie sangat lol. ade org lg lama layan underground dari korg. dan ade yang layan underground lg lama dari aku. respek derang.

kalau rasanya layan underground kool, silakanlah. aku pun rasa kool tgk orang layan indie music ni sebenarnya. tapi lagi ramai orang poyo layan sebenanya. so adik adik sekalian, kalau baru sekali pegi gig tu bawak2 la belaja dengar lg bnyk muzik underground. sbb lg bnyk sampah dari yg best sebenanya underground ni. guna telinga dan otak. jgn semua benda nk headbang je.

dan jauhi dadah. luls.

btw aku baru perasan yg main trompet/nyanyi dalam gerhana ska cinta tu sebenarnye ex-acab. dalam acab dia ni main bass/backup vokal.

oh, dan skarang aku rasa bunkface best. entahlah. efek adik aku pasang lagu ni kuat2 hari2 kot. dem.

conclusion? entahlah. aku lg suka muzik skin dr indie band beser2 nih. luls. and btw indie nih bkn genre yah. semua band yg free dari record label nih can be called indie band.

kepada otai2 muzik underground sori yer kalau aku bagi fakta yang salah. dah lama aku tak layan underground scene nih. ampun maap dan tunjuk ajar dipinta :)

jgn cakap aku poyo underground plak. aku xnah ngaku aku kaki underground setakat layan2 beser beli keset join gig je. lebeh2 xder.

kekasih yang tak dianggap

dulu dulu

"awk. janji jgn mtk clash lagi"

"sampai hati awk ckp mcm tu. kan sy dah janji, tu kali terakhir sy mintak"

"ok sy pegang janji awk"

mngkin normal putus, sambung balik kot. aku cuba pujuk diri sendiri. tapi entahlah. aku tak pernah sekali pun dump dia.

dia? 3x in a row.

so, aku=loser?

tak kisahlah. dia dah janji tu yang last. harap kali ni, dah takde masalah.

dulu

waktu pagi. sekitar kl. terserempak. wajahnya mencuka.

"awak ok?" aku bertanya. concern.

"tak" tambah masam mukanya. berpaling. kasar.

"ada masalah?" soalan lagi.

"aah" pendek.

"famili?"

"tak"

"kawan?"

"tak"

"bisnes?"

"tak sangat"

"saya?"

"aah!" bingkas bangun. lari. sembunyi.

kenapa pulak ni.

"saya ada wat salah ke?"

"..."

"kalo ada salah cakap la. jangan diam macam ni" masih cuba memujuk.

"..." muka dipalingkan lagi. masam mencuka.

"awak... buat muka macam ni tak selesai masalah!"

"Awak DIAM boleh tak! sy tgh serabut ni! awk nak sy jerit kat awak sini? pergi jauh2 boleh tak? pergi balik skrg!"

tersentak. macam dah takde maruah. kena marah macam budak bodoh. depan kawan-kawan lain pulak tu.

aku marah? aku lelaki. aku berego. sudah tentu! tapi ini sangat menyeksakan. kerana ada rasa sayang.

kamu tahu marah? kamu tahu sayang? nah gabungkan kedua duanya. seksa tak?

aku terseksa.

"jom g bb. nek cab." aku ajak 2 lagi kawan-kawan di tempat kejadian. nak angkat kaki. biarlah dia dengan serabutnya.

aku? masih cuba mengutip sisa-sisa sayang dia terhadapku. dah lama berterabur. hancur.

macam hancurnya hati aku.

7 petang

012 345 6789

"awk. sori psl td. serabut sgt"

aku kembali mellow.

a month ago

mahu jadi kawan. takmo rapat sangat. mak marah.

...

malas nak komen. tak tau la ke mana sayang tu dah dibuang. jauh2 rasanya. kecik hati sangat2. mudah benar dia melupakan. buruk sangatkah aku? miskin sangatkah aku?

"eh lama tak nmpk."

"aah."

"sihat?"

"still sakit"

"xnmpk cam sakit pon. makin gemok je"

"eh ikut suka hati sayala. nk makan banyak ke. nak gemok ke. nak kurus ke. awak peduli apa. kita dah takde kena mengena bla bla bla bebel bebel potpet potpet....

"ok... "

diam. sepanjang perjalanan.

katanya nak layan mcm kawan2. tapi bergurau tak boleh.

entah lah.nak peduli sangat pun dah tak larat. dia pun dah taknak peduli pasal aku. entah entah aku mati pun dia tak nak ambik tahu.

takpe. aku boleh bahagia dgn melihat dia bahagia. walaupun lg best kalau aku yang bahagiakan dia.

kalau dengan meninggalkan dia boleh membahagiakannya, aku sanggup pergi.

semoga kamu gembira dan happy dgn hidupmu sayang.

lagu ending:

Kekasih Yang Tak Dianggap

kertas

Aku mentari
Tapi tak menghangatkan mu
Aku pelangi
Tak memberi warna dihidupmu
Aku sang bulan
Tak menerangi malammu
Akulah bintang
Yang hilang ditelan kegelapan

Selalu itu yang
Kau ucapkan padaku
Sebagai kekasih yang tak dianggap
Aku hanya bisa mencoba mengalah
Menahan setiap amarah

Aku sang bulan
Tak menerangi malammu
Akulah bintang
Yang hilang ditelan kegelapan

Sebagai kekasih yang tak dianggap
Aku hanya bisa mencoba mengalah
Menahan setiap amarah
Sebagai kekasih yang tak dianggap
Aku hanya bisa mencoba bersabar
Ku yakin kau kan berubah

*cerita fiksyen. takyah percaya. terasa amk.

hai. nama saya mat.

and this, my dear fren, is a response to this post:
http://piggytalking.wordpress.com/2009/01/15/kisah-pramuraga-terlampau/

nama saya mat (bukan nama sebenar). saya dilahirkan pada tahun 80-an. seluruh hidup saya dipenuhi suka dan duka, jerih dan payah, ketawa dan tangis. normal lah tu. macho-macho pon nanges gak. lapa masa baby. xleh nk tolong lah. yer saya ngaku saya baby yang macho. dan comel.

sepanjang pengajian saya di utp, saya lalui penuh kesabaran. kesilapan-kesilapan yang dilalui, seperti join luxor, hampir kantoi fyp 1, bermalas-malasan dalam coursework hingga dapat xsampai setengah, semuanya diambil sebagai pengajaran berharga. terdapat juga kejayaan-kejayaan yg diperolehi, seperti berjaya pergi ke kelas hari sabtu, berjaya mendapat F dalam semua matapelajaran dalam satu sem, berjaya mendapat status dismissal dengan GPA, CGPA 0.00, (er kejayaan ke tu?) dan jugak berjaya mendapat A dalam co-cu Drama n Theater II.

yer betul, saya mendapat Drama n Theater II.

yang diambil sewaktu berada di semester akhir.

pelik kan? memang pelik. jika kedudukan saya sebagai pelajar paling tua dalam kelas, dan lainnya hanyalah kanak2 hingusan belasan tahun, tentulah lebih pelik.

sangat sangat cool kan?

saya memang sengaja mengambil keputusan mengambil co-cu di final sem tatkala rakan2 sudah menghabiskannya di tahun pertama lagi. kenapa? saya ada sebab tersendiri. tatkala semua orang lebih selesa berada dalam kumpulan sendiri ketika dalam kelas, saya lebih selesa bersendirian dalam kuliah.

alasannya? kurang distraction. dan best tido. sbb takde orang kacau ngambik gambo ke apa ke.

dan juga mendapat ramai kenalan baru.

kuliah2 yang saya sertai sorang-sorang termasuklah tranportation engineering, highway engineering, engineering economics, engineering in society, operation and construction management.

dan akhir sekali, Drama n Theater II.

kelas pertama drama n teater, saya terpaksa ponteng. kerana? ingin bermalas malasan. bosan lah kalau mahu start awal kelas ni. lebih baik menikmati cuti sepuas puasnya. dan juga mahu bersedia menghadapi kelas seterusnya.

fuh alasan.

kelas pertama, tidak seperti dijangka. rupanya kelas kecil sahaja. hampir 20 orang. tidak mengapa. dilihat budak-budak ni tgh bersenam senaman, mulanya disangka silap kelas. tp ternampak Dr N. oh. pasti inilah kelasnya drama.

"is this drama n theater II?" dengan keyakinan saya bertanya kepada kelas tersebut.

"yes yes. come in." mesra sahutan Dr N.

lega. selepas selesai sesi senam senaman dan menolak nolak tenaga (korg takyah paham. ni istilah kelas drama kitorg lol) Dr N memberi amaran:
- kelas ni kelas budak2, so we may ask you to do stupid things which i might refuse to do since im in my final sem (matured lah konon)
- comply, or fail

hah hah. ape punya cabaran lah. saya jenis jantan pantang dicabar, lalu dengan lantang saya terus menyahut cabaran tersebut

"Occaaaayyyyyy!" dgn gaya haado gay (oke ini satu exaggaration)

"so wats your name?"

"mat"

simple. and concise. i knoe i got longer name. but i think mat suffice. i wasn't called by my other name by choice. that was the name given by my seniors at my alma mater.

besides, i wasnt lying. there IS Mohd in my name. lol.

i think none of my drama mates, even my lecturer doesn't know this, but i used to be an active drama/theater actor/director/stage director.

err apsal tiba2 aku tulih english nih. hahah.

sepanjang kelas drama tersebut saya telah mengenali lebih dekat mereka semua. ada yang kelakar. ada yang diam. ada yang skema. ada yang kuat stadi. ada yang kuat bersembang. ada yang kuat gelak (dis one is for u naila dear. hahah. dem)

bila sampai ke penghujung kelas, rasa agak sedih meninggalkan kelas tersebut. sayang rasanya. dalam kelas inilah saya boleh buat benda2 bodoh tanpa judgemnt dari kawan-kawan. boleh bergurau senda tanpa segan silu. boleh rasa berbangga sebab dah survive the uni for 5 freakin years (cewah). dan semua classmate sangat-sangat santai dan sporting.

paling penting sekali, hajat saya untuk dipanggil mat berhasil. alhamdulillah >_<

dan hasil paling best sekali? dapat A. wpon test kantoi with flying colours. berbaloi lah jadik orang tua dalam kelas drama. hak hak.

dis is me in my classmate's pix, saja kacau dia camwhoring after our final performance. sori yah naila lol.

result @utp

so this is my final result in UTP. the last one. interestingly it got both A and F! and both are for cocu subjects. lol!


dont worry, that F is for basic dance cocuriculum course, which I have withdrawn earlier for Drama and Theater II. Ironic as it seems, I got an A for that course.

hahah.

well, thats certainly not the first F i got in my life. I lied to everybody that ive never got an F throughout my years in UTP. In fact, I got F for the whole subjects taken in that particular semester. Want to see it? There you go:





Lol. and the bottom two subjects, Islamic Studies and thinking skills, I got D because of coursework marks. which is a total pity because I got the highest coursework mark or Thinking Skills for that semester. hahahah.

so there you go. Fs for my first and last semesters in UTP. LOL

* can you guess why i got Fs for the whole semester? I will post the answer later, if anyone is willing to guess in the comments section ;)

the not-so-happy-new-year for me

when asked about my new year, i dont have much to comment. to be honest, i dont really celebrate any new year - at all. I dont even watch the countdown. Why? honestly, i dont see the point of celebrating another day in a year. It just mark the beginning of a new calendar. nothing significant anyway. and all those firework displays? concerts? entertainment overload? waste of time and money. those celebrations are just for brats who dont know where else to throw away their parent's money.

sorry for the harsh statement. it's been a bad day for me.

first, the lcd display of the latop i borrowed from my friend blacked out. turns out it has some problem with its backlight.

then ive got this bad flu. i slept the whole day in the new year! just woke up. still dizzy and suffering from running nose till now.

then the usb ports on my desktop are behaving crazily. which means nothing can be connected to my desktop pc. except for the mouse. darn

on a positive note, today is the first day of my celcom broadband postpaid subscription. so you'll be seeing me update this blog frequently. that is, if im not busy and in the mood of writing :)

each day this blog is becoming like my personal diary, instead of the place where i put my thoughts. i think im going to change my tone a bit in my next posts. maybe post about sports, politics etc.

@home, bored to death

people say doing nothing for such a long time will shrink your brain.

exactly.

i really feel like my brain is just a bit bigger than a walnut. it became something lazy. lazy to think for me. lazy to memorise for me. lazy to decide for me.

does this count as brain dead?

well, looking at a positive light, i'm not really doing nothing. i did submit the replacement teacher application form just now. i did follow up with my Master's application in UTP this morning. and i drove my granny's sister to the hospital today. and i did go to a 'kenduri' as well. and at 6pm, i accompany my mum doing some shopping. oh, almost forgot that today i apply for celcom unlimited broadband.

nice eh?

so im kinda tired now. well, those things i did justify why my brain is lazy right now. its just tired. he2. and now im writing this blog pulak. pity him.

any how, ive written several times for this blog via my pdaphone, but when i post it, its just gone. pissed off, i decided not to rewrite it. or for that matter, i will never write my blog using the handset anymore.

darn it.

btw i never get tired of missing her. sigh. when are we going to see each other b?

so thats all for now, my update for this, er, week? laters

its 3am and i know its unusual to post an unusually long blog post at this time lol

just watched mr n mrs smith. hahahah. surprisingly this story is just like me n my gf. story of ego and hardheadedness. brutality in fights lol. but, when its sweet, only we know how sweet can it be. isnt it honey? :p

semester is ending. my undergraduate studies is ending. im counting days now. waiting for my clearance. turns out i still owe utp rm90 worth of fines. all three back in may 2007, even before my internship. and now have to wait for approval for fine reduction. for goodness sake rm 90 is worth more than a week's living cost here! i just hope i can get a reduction up to rm30-40

so this is it. might be my last post for my blog from utp (if i dont have the mood to write again these few days lol). here i want to dedicate some sayonara greetings to my some of special ones:

my one and only girlfriend, noor akmal:
thank you and sorry for everything, my girl. thanks for all the care. and letting me care for you. letting me share your problems whenever you need someone. letting me be a bad bf and still forgives me. and most importantly for letting me love you =)

i know our last days together in utp was certainly not the best times we had, but circumstances are not on our side, and i believe both of us understands it completely, though i must say im very disappointed =( if only i could turn back time b, if only i could.

i know we always had fights. over small things. and sometimes our fights are really hideous. well, most of the times. maybe that's our strength, really kan syg?

but remember the good times will you? those bunnies i sent to you every night. tha birthday song i sang to you on your birthday. my first present for you (the blue thing =) the kenduri with sedondon baju raya thing. the moment u gave me the bunny. the card u wrote to me spontaneously. and lastly, my next present for you. im sure ure going to be surprised. really2 surprised ;)

those are the things that really makes me miss you so much.

you are my baby. and will always be my baby =)

my beloved roommate, gaban:
i know this will sound gay, but he is certainly the best roommate i had. thank you for respecting my privacy. and though both of us never really talked to each other until recently, i still respect you.

tq sbb ajak makan. ajak g ipoh. bahan kimok sama2. usha jikku berkasih sayang bersama2. kena orbit pon sama2 hahah. sori sbb kincat ko pasal bazler eh. hahah. jgn amik siyes rumet. da 3 thn duk sama lol. pape pun best of luck yer rumet tersayang.

osmet kimok n jikku:
dulu jarang lepak sama. kos pon lain2. tp lepas intern selalu mkn sama. sori kimok bnyk bahan hang. takde lele, hang la mangsa. hahah jikku, cirit2 kasih sayang pon still xlupa osmet. cayalah asenel. hahah

bdk2 civil len:
thanx for these wonderful 4-5 years together. geng2 semsas. geng2 budu. geng2 lifuki n matle.dak2 pompuan yg siyesli aku tak kenal sgt pn b4 intern hahahah. x lupa ct haida. tengs for all the notes. i realy really really appreciate it syg (usop jgn marah haa =p) wish u guys all the best. nnt dah berkarier gaji 5figure jgn lupa member yer hehe

amy
tengs sbb jadik a very good girl friend. tq sbb not judgmental towards me. though i know u had this hostile thought of me, but i think even the meanest guy in this world would think twice, no, thrice, to do bad things to you simply because, well, you are too sweet. yeah i said it lol. you are sweet, not bajet sweet. hihi.

good luck in life. nnt nk buat nasik minyak jgn lupa jemput yer hahaha.

#helloproject:
ni cenel takleh lupa nih. the channel that lets me express myself without ppl being judgmental. thanx 4 everything. this is where i learn that virtual relations can be expressed in reality. thanx for all the maples and mekdis and kepsis.

n this is where i found my love too. hahaha.

gud lak everyone. yg blom grad tu semoga dapat score and secure a good job later

mazrep:
tq sbb jadik kwn yg bek. aku ade problem leh cite kat ko.

aku konpes aku x gay sekian.

mekaseh jadik rakan lepak aku masa kat klcc dulu. aku tau ak ni membosankan. dahla mulut laser xde insuran. tahan gak telinga ko tuh ye. agaknya dah bese kene tala ngan munir kot hahah.

kN:
tq for helping me hooking up with chunk. and well, for breaking us apart once =b i know u only think the best for both of us. and i know i was stupid at that time. well, i still think of you as a special friend. not far enough to be a stranger, and not close enough to be too personal to each other. thus the status lets us share our problems without guilt or feeling hostile.

#natto
frankly i dont know why i joined this channel in the first place. im from the 2nd generation. the time when yatie was still with ash. and mazrep, munir was still unheard of in this channel. i enjoyed each and every outings i have with u guys. thank you very much for pretty much everything =)

syncmaster
sori terhutang lama sikit duit mum. nk wat camne im in financial trouble and i know i was at fault.mayb i spent too much. bkn xmo baya utang, im trying my best. jgn sbb hutang putus kawan. aku tau ade lg baki hutang n believe me, im working on it.

and just in case youre wondering, i paid it using my own money. not hers ok.

freestylers
tq sbb bg aku peluang masuk circle korg. stat dr v2 lg. mekaseh sbb aja aku cane nk paham kecek klate. n ganu. hahah.

tq for the great bbq yesterday. it was awesome.

picisan
not much to say, tp tq jelah for the evening exercise kat padang v4 hahah

#linux
nice staying there, though i dont use linux regularly. even for the servers, i use BSD. haha. but it doesnt matter as long as we're in the *NIX family =b

dc++ team
tq for the bans, recommendations, help etc2x. i really appreciate it. its been a year since i take over this hub, and its been a great pleasure serving utp students

i guess thats all for now. utp will always be in my heart. and i ranked it as my number two, after kys for my favourite place =) thanx everyone around me. directly or indirectly involved in my life - pacik macik gad, pak ali, tokei2 kafe len, brader koept, akak kopet, semoga dapat baby comel nnt yer hehe, macik cleaner, brader itm ass, staf2 n lecerer.

bye bye utp. sayounara.

Bedul anak mak

Tidak dpt dinafikan bhw abdul adalah seorang anak mak.beliau dibesarkan dlm suasana kekeluargaan yg erat.pencapaian akademik beliau juga amat membanggakan.

Namun segalanya berubah ketika melangkah kaki ke universiti.beliau bkn lg seperti dahulu.tiada lg ms utk membuat panggilan telefon kepada ibunya.pulang ke rumah pun jarang2 sekali.jika bercuti, seboleh-bolehnya dia mahu tinggal di kolej kediaman.

kenapa ini berlaku?pdhal rumah beliau amat bes.hari2 mak beliau masak ayam goreng kegemaran beliau.sekali sekala merasa makan nasik beriyani.mungkin kebosanan duduk di rumah sepanjang hari.kalau di universiti boleh lah panjangkan kaki ke pusat bandar.xpon koman2 ke air terjun,pntai ataupn pusat2 perkelahan terdekat.

Bole juga berdeting dgn si dia hari2.itulah besnye mempunyai buah hati yg belaja sama2.

Suatu hari abdul merasakan kepentingan pulang ke rumah ibunya.dgn insaf dia pulang segera tnpa memberitahu ibunya akan niat murni beliau dgn hrpn dpt mmberi kejutan kepada kedua ibu bapanya.

Berbekalkan mp3 yg dipasang lagu berjudul Balik Kampung dendangan  allahyarham sudirman,beliau menaiki bas pulang ke kampungnya di Sungai Petani, Kedah.lagu tersebut tidak bukan untuk meniup semangat membara utk pulang ke kampung,sungguhpun ketika itu bukanlah hari raya.

Sesampainya di laman rumah,bedul terus berlari2 anak ke daun pintu.

"tok tok tok!" pintu diketuk tidak berjawab.

"tok tok tok! semekum!" ulang bedul lg.

berkali2 diulang perbuatan itu.namun hampa.

Adakah keluarganya telah berpindah?adakah beliau ditinggalkan sendiri?adakah berlaku musibah terhadap keluarganya?

Air mata ditahan,namun kelamaan menitis jua.jirannya, ali muncul tiba2 utk menenangkan beliau.

"sudahla bedol.yang dah p tu xyah dikenangkan lagi"

Semakin tebal penyesalan di hati bedul.semakin berjurai air matanya.

"mak abah adik hang p pekan.awat hang teriak ni?"

kawan kah kita? (kisah abdul dan ali)

Apa beza kawan, geng, member? Ada beza? xde beza.cuma kadang2 diorg bleh jadi bes.kadang2 xbes.kdg2 diorg carik kita.kdg2 kita carik diorg.kdg2 senang mtk pjm duit.kdg2 payah gak.

Ada plak jenis kwn yg xmcm kwn.bkn maksud sy kawan makan kwn.tp kawan yg kurang dikenali.kdg2 kawan atas kawan.bkn la pulak maksud sy kawan menunggang kawan ke kelas, tp kwn yg dikenali melalui kwn2.

Mereka yang boleh dikategorikan dlm golongan ini termasuklah mereka yg kita xtego lsg kalau beselisih.ataupon cuma senyum2 malu sbb lupa nama.kadang2 senyum kambing.konon nk sedekah.tp xingat nama.kan lg bek bg salam.dpt pahala.

Selalu spesis kwn mcm ni boleh didapati semasa melawat bilik member.kwn2 diorg akan turut sm melawat,jd pertukaran idea dan buah fikiran pn berlaku wpon kurg mengenali antara satu sama lain.dan apabila pulang,tidak pula berusaha utk menghubungi rakan2 tersebut.maka secara automatis,mereka menjadi kwn yg xmcm kwn.

Suatu hari ketika berjalan pulang dr menikmati hidangan tghr di cafe,abdul terserempak dgn ali, seorg kwn yg xmcm kwn.lalu dgn berani,beliau mengambil keputusan utk menyapa beliau.

50m.masih zon selamat.bedul masih boleh berpura2 tetinggal sesuatu dan mengambil jln yang lain utk mengelak drpd bertembung dgn ali.namun beliau tidak berputus asa.nekadnya hanya ingin menegur ali, sungguhpun dia xdpt mengingati nama beliau.

30m.

20m.

10m.

"oit!dr mn?"

"..."

Sumpah seranah bermaharajalela di hati abdul kerana sapaannya langsung tidak dibalas oleh ali.

Namun ali sedikit tidak rasa bersalah, kerana mungkin abdul menyapa org di belakang beliau, lantas beliau tidak mahu menanggung risiko malu buntut kerana perasan.

Sekian kisah sedih seorang abdul yg dilupakan kawan x mcm kawan.