cool mr president, very very cool!

Obama, is that Pacman vs Apple on your macbook? then i vote you as the most awesome president of united states of america!

cool eih =)

taken from http://isohunt.com/

48 hours without a handset (and counting)

its been 48 hours since i sent my broken handset for repairs. called the shop yesterday. they told me to wait for another two days for the spare parts. getting nauseaus already, missing my dopod XOXO. i officially named my dopod as XOXO cos it resembles gossip girls handset lol. i know its kinda girly, but hey, i even named my hard drives comel ok? trying to make things look cute is not a crime. but trying to be cute is disastrous for a guy like me hahahaha.

im bored to death. cant text anyone. cant call anyone. even my sim doesnt have any contacts. everything is inside the phone. sigh. silly me not backing up the data in the first place. i just pray they leave the software alone and not reset the data inside. sigh. it'll be a pain in the ass grabbing back all the contacts in the phone.

so im stuck here waiting for kN to lend me her handset temporarily. where are you kN...

on a positive note, tomorrow is my mum's birthday. i pray for her health and prosperity. bought her a tudung as a present. i hope she'll like it.

its 3am and i know its unusual to post an unusually long blog post at this time lol

just watched mr n mrs smith. hahahah. surprisingly this story is just like me n my gf. story of ego and hardheadedness. brutality in fights lol. but, when its sweet, only we know how sweet can it be. isnt it honey? :p

semester is ending. my undergraduate studies is ending. im counting days now. waiting for my clearance. turns out i still owe utp rm90 worth of fines. all three back in may 2007, even before my internship. and now have to wait for approval for fine reduction. for goodness sake rm 90 is worth more than a week's living cost here! i just hope i can get a reduction up to rm30-40

so this is it. might be my last post for my blog from utp (if i dont have the mood to write again these few days lol). here i want to dedicate some sayonara greetings to my some of special ones:

my one and only girlfriend, noor akmal:
thank you and sorry for everything, my girl. thanks for all the care. and letting me care for you. letting me share your problems whenever you need someone. letting me be a bad bf and still forgives me. and most importantly for letting me love you =)

i know our last days together in utp was certainly not the best times we had, but circumstances are not on our side, and i believe both of us understands it completely, though i must say im very disappointed =( if only i could turn back time b, if only i could.

i know we always had fights. over small things. and sometimes our fights are really hideous. well, most of the times. maybe that's our strength, really kan syg?

but remember the good times will you? those bunnies i sent to you every night. tha birthday song i sang to you on your birthday. my first present for you (the blue thing =) the kenduri with sedondon baju raya thing. the moment u gave me the bunny. the card u wrote to me spontaneously. and lastly, my next present for you. im sure ure going to be surprised. really2 surprised ;)

those are the things that really makes me miss you so much.

you are my baby. and will always be my baby =)

my beloved roommate, gaban:
i know this will sound gay, but he is certainly the best roommate i had. thank you for respecting my privacy. and though both of us never really talked to each other until recently, i still respect you.

tq sbb ajak makan. ajak g ipoh. bahan kimok sama2. usha jikku berkasih sayang bersama2. kena orbit pon sama2 hahah. sori sbb kincat ko pasal bazler eh. hahah. jgn amik siyes rumet. da 3 thn duk sama lol. pape pun best of luck yer rumet tersayang.

osmet kimok n jikku:
dulu jarang lepak sama. kos pon lain2. tp lepas intern selalu mkn sama. sori kimok bnyk bahan hang. takde lele, hang la mangsa. hahah jikku, cirit2 kasih sayang pon still xlupa osmet. cayalah asenel. hahah

bdk2 civil len:
thanx for these wonderful 4-5 years together. geng2 semsas. geng2 budu. geng2 lifuki n matle.dak2 pompuan yg siyesli aku tak kenal sgt pn b4 intern hahahah. x lupa ct haida. tengs for all the notes. i realy really really appreciate it syg (usop jgn marah haa =p) wish u guys all the best. nnt dah berkarier gaji 5figure jgn lupa member yer hehe

amy
tengs sbb jadik a very good girl friend. tq sbb not judgmental towards me. though i know u had this hostile thought of me, but i think even the meanest guy in this world would think twice, no, thrice, to do bad things to you simply because, well, you are too sweet. yeah i said it lol. you are sweet, not bajet sweet. hihi.

good luck in life. nnt nk buat nasik minyak jgn lupa jemput yer hahaha.

#helloproject:
ni cenel takleh lupa nih. the channel that lets me express myself without ppl being judgmental. thanx 4 everything. this is where i learn that virtual relations can be expressed in reality. thanx for all the maples and mekdis and kepsis.

n this is where i found my love too. hahaha.

gud lak everyone. yg blom grad tu semoga dapat score and secure a good job later

mazrep:
tq sbb jadik kwn yg bek. aku ade problem leh cite kat ko.

aku konpes aku x gay sekian.

mekaseh jadik rakan lepak aku masa kat klcc dulu. aku tau ak ni membosankan. dahla mulut laser xde insuran. tahan gak telinga ko tuh ye. agaknya dah bese kene tala ngan munir kot hahah.

kN:
tq for helping me hooking up with chunk. and well, for breaking us apart once =b i know u only think the best for both of us. and i know i was stupid at that time. well, i still think of you as a special friend. not far enough to be a stranger, and not close enough to be too personal to each other. thus the status lets us share our problems without guilt or feeling hostile.

#natto
frankly i dont know why i joined this channel in the first place. im from the 2nd generation. the time when yatie was still with ash. and mazrep, munir was still unheard of in this channel. i enjoyed each and every outings i have with u guys. thank you very much for pretty much everything =)

syncmaster
sori terhutang lama sikit duit mum. nk wat camne im in financial trouble and i know i was at fault.mayb i spent too much. bkn xmo baya utang, im trying my best. jgn sbb hutang putus kawan. aku tau ade lg baki hutang n believe me, im working on it.

and just in case youre wondering, i paid it using my own money. not hers ok.

freestylers
tq sbb bg aku peluang masuk circle korg. stat dr v2 lg. mekaseh sbb aja aku cane nk paham kecek klate. n ganu. hahah.

tq for the great bbq yesterday. it was awesome.

picisan
not much to say, tp tq jelah for the evening exercise kat padang v4 hahah

#linux
nice staying there, though i dont use linux regularly. even for the servers, i use BSD. haha. but it doesnt matter as long as we're in the *NIX family =b

dc++ team
tq for the bans, recommendations, help etc2x. i really appreciate it. its been a year since i take over this hub, and its been a great pleasure serving utp students

i guess thats all for now. utp will always be in my heart. and i ranked it as my number two, after kys for my favourite place =) thanx everyone around me. directly or indirectly involved in my life - pacik macik gad, pak ali, tokei2 kafe len, brader koept, akak kopet, semoga dapat baby comel nnt yer hehe, macik cleaner, brader itm ass, staf2 n lecerer.

bye bye utp. sayounara.

about my relationship

how long?

1yr+. aniversary? nil. on off on off. the chase never ends. that's what makes it interesting. she really does know well how to play hide n seek. n when to ease off just when im about to give up.

kalau jiwang 24 jam seminggu 7 hari bosan lah. kan f00?

we certainly dont have the best love story, but certainly our story is not a classic one. both hard headed, both born with temper problems. and both have a big fat E that sticks out of our head (ego). and the fights? hahah. kalah laki bini.

but who knows how sweet can we be when we're not into fights :D

how does its started? (the relationship)

friend. enemy. friend. close friend. very close friend. er. how much closer can u get luls.

tgh cuti. texting. bosan. call. bosan. texting. call. n then kuar lirik lagu. n then kuar lirik2 kompesen. n then kompesen dah tak jadik lirik lagu dah. hahah.

is she/he the one? (so far..)

yes!


what u like most about him/her?

lets just say everything about her. well, except her temper. hahah.

wat i like the most? when i make her smile. sense of ego-feeding orgasmic pleasure when i can turn her frown into smile whenever she's down. nothing beats that.

best moment of us?

dapat kad + soft toy. berani dia bg soft toy kat aku ni?! grr dah la muka garang, xmacho bakk aa simpan soft toy hahah. tp first time dpt dr org. kinda agitated luls.

saddest moment of us?

im graduating. she has one more semester. we have 1 more week to be spent together. suddenly she fell sick. a really painful disease. she even refused to meet me because it's affecting her face and might leave a scar. after quite a lengthy comforting, i managed to get a nod for a last date. and god knows how devastated i am to see her fell sick like that. i would want to switch places with her if i could, but i just couldnt. but i know, 'berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul'. semoga cepat sembuh ye syg.

n the next day she went home, thus ending our relationship in utp abruptly, and starting our ldr. i wont be here anymore. sad sad sad

long distance? what gives you the trust to hold on a relationship?

im proud to say that we actually became closer during LDR. nothing tops the feeling of being back together after a long suffering separation :b and i trusted her with all my heart (kadang2 je jeles. stendet la tu. jeles tanda sayang, bkn tanda xpecaya hahahah)

bcos i know, she's not the fllirting type. she's the garang type. rawr! tah camne aku leh brani kompes aku pn tatau. hahah.

harap berkekalan. harap xde halangan orang tua. harap jodoh panjang. itu jela.

tips?

bila begadoh tu, dah tau sorang tu mmg temper, biar je dia. dalam 2 3 jam (worst case, sehari dua) cooldown blk ok la. jgn gatal2 g pujuk lak. lg teruk kene marah kang (applicable hanya kepada yg ade pasangan bad temper SAHAJA. len2 dulik hape aku nk pujuk2 lol)




ps - ye saya kompes sy kapel ngan adik member. ade masalah?

the hard truth

it sucks when you learnt about the hard truth. that when you think you are doing the best that you can, but the fact is, its not enough. when you know that your competition is from the most unexpected of all people. when you think you are the only one, but there will always be another guy doing better.

and when you know it at the time you don't expect it.

this is what happen when you know your beloved one contacted her ex, while not telling you at all. and knowing that he's doing very well. and better than you. the fact that this guy is getting married is not soothing at all. bravo, i never knew you and would never want to know you, but yet you really can make my life miserable.

and now it all really makes sense. that explains why suddenly the change of attitude. suddenly getting mad for asking when and where she's going. the 'i want to be single cus single rawks' attitude. the 'im independent so dont ask where the eff im going' replies that you get.

it sucks.

it sucks when you've felt that you have done everything to make her your girl, but nothing can satisfy her. money is never enough. love? bleargh. care? ew. appearance? not a bit. there will always be someone better than you.

i have a life. i have a dream. i have a lifelong passion to complete. im only 21 for gods sake! i am trying my best. i don't want to be a fucking lame engineer. it stinks when you have to do all the dirty works and be responsible for it while other people milking me out for their own luxury life.

i have my own plans.

so please, when you think im not the best for you, and i just can never be one, i really am trying to be one.

but remember, if you think im a desperate lover, please look up the facts that i am not one.

ps - i know is unethical. a grief sin, at its best, to look at chatlogs of other people. but its there, and its purely accidental. not that i look up for it. and that's the only way to know about the truth. the hard way, in fact.

it's gay, i know

its kinda gay when you write a blog about your feelings when, something as big as the first black president of United States was elected.

its kinda gay when you write a blog about your love life when people are talking about global economic depression.

its kinda gay when you write a blog about your boring life when everyone is looking out for the fall of US economy

its kinda gay when your write a blog about yourself when people dont really care about you anyway.

and i confess that my few last posts are gay posts. yucks.


hahah. but that's life. each and every one of us have their own sphere of life, of which they think of most of the time. their thoughts only spins around their own self, and rarely they really look into other people's sphere or into the bigger universe around them.

we cannot blame ourselves for it. we are naturally narcissist. our own self ego portrays who we are. some are successful just because they are able to assimilate with others' sphere of life and manipulate them. some prefer to call them manipulator or opprtunist, but i'd rather call them 'smart'.

ku ingin seperti dulu

ku ingin seperti dulu
bebas ke mana-mana
tidak perlu lapor diri kpd siapa2

ku ingin seperti dulu
bebas berkawan
tidak perlu berfikir tentang si dia

ku ingin seperti dulu
tiada siapa mengawal, tiada siapa menyoal
tiada siapa kisah, tiada siapa ambil tahu
tiada yang peduli, tiada yang ambil berat

sekarang semua itu sudah tiada
yang ada hanyalah hati yg perlu dijaga





tp ingatlah detik detik gembira
aku dan dia
tiada yg ambil peduli tentang kami
yang ada hanya kami dan dunia kami
'carefree' dan bebas
saling menghormati saling menyayangi

pertanyaan bkn utk siasatan
untuk mengambil berat tentang dia

pertanyaan bkn tanda cemburu
tanda aku ingat pada dia

pertanyaan bukan maksudnya marah
sekadar mahu tahu keadaan diri

masih mahu seperti dulu?
hidup tanpa aku?

benarlah 'you will not realise what you have till its gone'
seseorang xkan tahu menghargai sehingga kehilangan

mungkin bila aku tiada perasaan gembira itu akan ada

tapi ingatlah nnt

bilamana nnt kau perlukan seseorang utk mendengar luahan hati
pasti akan terasa kehilangannya

bilamana kau perlukan seseorang memujukmu ketika sedih
pasti akan terasa kehilangannya

bilamana kau perlukan seseorang menemanimu ketika kesunyian
pasti akan terasa kehilangannya

bilamana kau perlukan seseorang yang memberi bantuan tanpa mengharapkan apa-apa
pasti akan terasa kehilangannya

aku di sini. tetap menunggumu.

aku

Aku tau aku xpernah sempurna

Aku bkn anak seperti yang mama impikan
Bkn abang yang adik adikku harapkan
Bkn kekasih yg kekasihku idamkan
Bkn kawan yang sahabatku perlukan

Tp aku cuba jugak hepikn org lain

Entahlah.makin dekat, rasanya makin jauh hati ni. Kenapa perlu ada rasa kesian? Kesian itu boleh mengelirukan. Terlalu kecil sempadan kesian dengan sayang.

Entahlah. Aku xperlukan lebih. Xmintak lebih dari itu. Redha sajalah kerana aku bkn sempurna. Aku cuma mampu cuba menjadi sempurna. Dan bkn hak aku nk memaksa-maksa.

Tp aku bkn seorg selfish lover.dan aku xpeduli semua itu. Sekurang-kurangnya aku cuba.

Cuba menjadi yg terbaik utk dia, kamu dan mereka.

Raya dinner

last night i went to hari raya dinner with civil dept.

I have no complains on this event, except that there's simply too little food last night! Its just not worth the rm25 we have to pay. Id rather go to muven peak and go eat all i want. lucky i didnt fast that day or i'll be hungry the whole event!

Otherwise the event was a success,i must say. The not so nice part is,wen our batch's farewell video was played.not that its a sad moment for us, but the picture of me that they used.damn im hairy at the time.long haired and bearded, with moustache. Goddamnit, at least ask me for photos! Dont just take it from my fs for goodness sake! *sigh* Whatever.everybody laughed at it.nvm,ill just take it as a compliment,though.

moi fyp (read: my miserable fyp)

Waiting sucks.im at the offshore lab waiting for my labmate to bring a few important stuffs for my fyp (final year project).ims stuck here, my project stalled and i havent seen my sv for ages,the last time being him trashing my supposedly dissertation a.k.a final report.i dont mind,sir as long as you passed me in my wrecking project.

I know whining wont solve anything, but as far as im concerned,my fyp sucks.who cares about the pipelines lying in the ocean anyway?certainly not you.sigh.no use ranting about this and that about my project.ive taken it,so i must be responsible for it.

Lets hope i can finish this miserable project a.s.a.p.its already killing me.

mellow? effect of melon? ugh

never whisper words of love if the feeling is not true and never say i LOVE u when you really mean goodbye..never use your charm if you mean to break a heart and never look into the eyes if you will only lie!!

darn ive been mellow lately. reez dude! help me!

eh uve been mellow too. musim mengawan ke nih.

bye bye

bye bye arigato sayonara

ive been good. and ive been bad.
uve been good. and bad.

but i never regret a thing. enjoy yr life.

Bedul anak mak

Tidak dpt dinafikan bhw abdul adalah seorang anak mak.beliau dibesarkan dlm suasana kekeluargaan yg erat.pencapaian akademik beliau juga amat membanggakan.

Namun segalanya berubah ketika melangkah kaki ke universiti.beliau bkn lg seperti dahulu.tiada lg ms utk membuat panggilan telefon kepada ibunya.pulang ke rumah pun jarang2 sekali.jika bercuti, seboleh-bolehnya dia mahu tinggal di kolej kediaman.

kenapa ini berlaku?pdhal rumah beliau amat bes.hari2 mak beliau masak ayam goreng kegemaran beliau.sekali sekala merasa makan nasik beriyani.mungkin kebosanan duduk di rumah sepanjang hari.kalau di universiti boleh lah panjangkan kaki ke pusat bandar.xpon koman2 ke air terjun,pntai ataupn pusat2 perkelahan terdekat.

Bole juga berdeting dgn si dia hari2.itulah besnye mempunyai buah hati yg belaja sama2.

Suatu hari abdul merasakan kepentingan pulang ke rumah ibunya.dgn insaf dia pulang segera tnpa memberitahu ibunya akan niat murni beliau dgn hrpn dpt mmberi kejutan kepada kedua ibu bapanya.

Berbekalkan mp3 yg dipasang lagu berjudul Balik Kampung dendangan  allahyarham sudirman,beliau menaiki bas pulang ke kampungnya di Sungai Petani, Kedah.lagu tersebut tidak bukan untuk meniup semangat membara utk pulang ke kampung,sungguhpun ketika itu bukanlah hari raya.

Sesampainya di laman rumah,bedul terus berlari2 anak ke daun pintu.

"tok tok tok!" pintu diketuk tidak berjawab.

"tok tok tok! semekum!" ulang bedul lg.

berkali2 diulang perbuatan itu.namun hampa.

Adakah keluarganya telah berpindah?adakah beliau ditinggalkan sendiri?adakah berlaku musibah terhadap keluarganya?

Air mata ditahan,namun kelamaan menitis jua.jirannya, ali muncul tiba2 utk menenangkan beliau.

"sudahla bedol.yang dah p tu xyah dikenangkan lagi"

Semakin tebal penyesalan di hati bedul.semakin berjurai air matanya.

"mak abah adik hang p pekan.awat hang teriak ni?"

kawan kah kita? (kisah abdul dan ali)

Apa beza kawan, geng, member? Ada beza? xde beza.cuma kadang2 diorg bleh jadi bes.kadang2 xbes.kdg2 diorg carik kita.kdg2 kita carik diorg.kdg2 senang mtk pjm duit.kdg2 payah gak.

Ada plak jenis kwn yg xmcm kwn.bkn maksud sy kawan makan kwn.tp kawan yg kurang dikenali.kdg2 kawan atas kawan.bkn la pulak maksud sy kawan menunggang kawan ke kelas, tp kwn yg dikenali melalui kwn2.

Mereka yang boleh dikategorikan dlm golongan ini termasuklah mereka yg kita xtego lsg kalau beselisih.ataupon cuma senyum2 malu sbb lupa nama.kadang2 senyum kambing.konon nk sedekah.tp xingat nama.kan lg bek bg salam.dpt pahala.

Selalu spesis kwn mcm ni boleh didapati semasa melawat bilik member.kwn2 diorg akan turut sm melawat,jd pertukaran idea dan buah fikiran pn berlaku wpon kurg mengenali antara satu sama lain.dan apabila pulang,tidak pula berusaha utk menghubungi rakan2 tersebut.maka secara automatis,mereka menjadi kwn yg xmcm kwn.

Suatu hari ketika berjalan pulang dr menikmati hidangan tghr di cafe,abdul terserempak dgn ali, seorg kwn yg xmcm kwn.lalu dgn berani,beliau mengambil keputusan utk menyapa beliau.

50m.masih zon selamat.bedul masih boleh berpura2 tetinggal sesuatu dan mengambil jln yang lain utk mengelak drpd bertembung dgn ali.namun beliau tidak berputus asa.nekadnya hanya ingin menegur ali, sungguhpun dia xdpt mengingati nama beliau.

30m.

20m.

10m.

"oit!dr mn?"

"..."

Sumpah seranah bermaharajalela di hati abdul kerana sapaannya langsung tidak dibalas oleh ali.

Namun ali sedikit tidak rasa bersalah, kerana mungkin abdul menyapa org di belakang beliau, lantas beliau tidak mahu menanggung risiko malu buntut kerana perasan.

Sekian kisah sedih seorang abdul yg dilupakan kawan x mcm kawan.

utp network n me =)

Who am I in utp?im no one.im just a final year student waiting for a few more weeks to finish my studies and go out into the working world.am I just going to be just another undergraduate from utp?does my existence here gives no impact to others?

Well,I guess so.

As for now I want to talk about network in utp.am I qualified to talk about it?lets see who am I really.

Currently im the maintainer and owner of v5 dc++ hub.I am also the fifth admin and the second root admin of kampung5.I prepared and maintained the k5 imagehosting,which is used extensively by cameraphiles in utp.I am also the owner of the temp irc network,when soul.utpchat.net isn't available.

Still not enough?I provide fedora and ubuntu software repository for village5.active member of UTPOSSA,but not anymore since im busy with everything else.

Ok.done with that.that is my history.kinda boring isn't it?im going to graduate anyway.

Im not going to blabber much about myself.I want to talk about OUR network.yes u heard me.OUR very own utp network.

I've been here since 2004.my first encounter of student network services is with utpchat.net.there used to be one single server connecting users throughout v1-v4 (v5 doesn't even exist that time,n v1 n v2 only got internet access in late 2004).user counts averaging 1000+ users at any time given.

my first favourite mirc channel?its gotta be #bingseng.what is #bingseng?if utpchat is a breathing animal,bingseng is its heart.bingseng is among the first channel that promotes the usage of utp network as a sharing medium.its main attraction?mp3 files.some of us might still remembr @find bla3,dir,ls,/ctcp bla3 and many more mirc commands to grab files from fservs.

That was a long long time ago.from this filesharing activities,people learn to socialize and form interest groups in private channels.prominent examples are #helloproject,#linux,#unipet etc.

And then,there's GV.

What is GV?GrapeVine.utp forum.much like our current k5.but with stricter mods+hardcore writers who love to flame one another.and can be accessed throughout utp.there,I only love reading.I don't post much,partly because of the fear of being ridiculed by mods n other regular writers over there.

Students living in that era will remember the otais back then.effi,snubby,genjo,mangifera,yayi n a few others.

I wasn't popular in both services.just because im still young at that time compared to seasoned seniors.and im not interested in this politics.im happy as long as I can get my latest mp3s and vclips.

And then something happened.utp network was sliced into pieces.each village with their own network.new ip schemes introduced.they used to be 160.xxx.xxx.xxx.now we r separated.the first service to suffer was grapevine.n then mirc.

The server was located in v3/v4 but most of the regular GV writers live in v5.and during the early separation process,mirc network only limited to each village.n then there was novell login.do u still remember your novell login id?

I still do.

So what happened after that?the opers tried to restore connectivity between villages by connecting village servers to one another by using proxies.but situation changed rapidly.most juniors never bothered about mirc n gv.year fter year,it becomes worsened.then there came kampung5.originally intended as temporary gv replacement,k5 popularity grows as it gained attention from ex gv users in v5.most of gv users are disappointed with the move of gv to outside server.the slow page loading of gv makes k5 a superior choice bcos of its location in V5.

And then there is this server called dc++.started by ahca@helloproject,I was one of the experimental team for the dchub server.more or less,the popularity of dc++ hub grows each day as it follows the web2.0 definition.what is web2.0?traditional internet are passive internet whereby users login, get something and then logout.web2.0 extends more than that.it lets users participate,contribute,share and do much more with the internet.

This is what dc++ is for.participation from the users,compared to trditional filesharing under mIRC,makes dc++ a better choice for filesharers.

Although the importance of mirc decreases day by day,the legacy still continues.we can say that less than 300 active users of mirc still exists but its presence is still needed,as long as the people are there

I still hope that despite the tremendous pressure from network condition of utp,itms and the users themselves, that 10 years from now,I still can see utpchat.net and dc++ is still here in utp,and I can say proudly that im part of it long ago.

So what does the future has to offer to the new generation of utp students?the answer really lies in the hands of the students themselves.they can choose to support the communication method as it is right now or dump it for something new and fresh.I just don't want to see the so-called modern messengers like gtalk/ym/msn replace the functionality of mirc networks.yes,indeed mirc has been around in decades,but its not outdated at all.I hope that all the juniors would understand this and start to embrace the mirc once again and bring back the golden era of utp network.