holidays

i hate holidays. holidays are killing me. period.

i love working. yeah. you heard me right. im lovin my job dearly!

ASB loan

to those of you who already had ASB loan from local banks, just carry on. this is just a friendly advice for my friends who have not done so.

ASB is incorporated by PNB as BUMIPUTERA ONLY trust fund, as an incentive to encourage saving habits to bumis and enculcate investment without exposing them to unnecessary risks.

however, most of malays are lacking the fund to join ASB to reap its full benefit. average return per year is around 7% lately.

this is where banks giving away loans for this fund.

i read through the internet, and i reached to a conclusion that taking loans for asb is not a smart method of investment.

unless you cannot discipline yourself in saving your money.

banks saw this as an opportunity to gain money without exposing themselves to unnecessary risks. offering at BLR -1.25% (actual rate of some bank) this seems attractive. i, however, see this just as another alibaba license. banks dont have to be a malay to invest in asb, rather, they used their customer's name in obtaining asb certs.

and during bad times, BLR can go as high as 12%. instead of you getting the dividend, you are paying the banks for nothing! i know this is the worst case scenario, but no one can predict the future.

it's better you save your money little by little. you will have full control of your finances and who knows, maybe you need extra funds in emergency?

unless you cannot discipline yourself and need to be forced to pay monthly loan, don't take ASB loan because it's just a way banks make free profits with minimal risk.

i hate it when i thought of working for the bank for free. i expect them to pay me, not the other way around.

i know the loan means you have a leverage for your money in the long run. however the return is too small <10% making it unattractive, at all. only make loans where you can be confident that the spread is more than 10%.

well, that's just imho. any comments are welcomed =)

antara berani dan kurang ajar. antara pengajaran dan mengajar.

salam.

rempit. kl drift. lenjan. bohsia. budak kelantan.

itu nama filem2 baru kat malaysia. nampak trend nya?

ter baru? ANU DALAM BOTOL.

kosmo

wtf semua nak jadi gay hari ni?

dah jadi trend ke nk buat filem, amik problem sosial jadik tema?

alasannya?
- masyarakat lebih terbuka
- menyedarkan orang ramai
- tidak bersifat denial terhadap masalah sosial

bullshit. tu semua nak untung saja tu. sapa yang tak suka tgk diana danielle pakai skirt terselak? tgk lurah raja farah yg slurp2? tgk 2-3 ekor lelaki kenduri sorang pempuan?

pengajaran taik kucing engkau.

berapa ekor mat rempit insaf lepas tgk cite remipt? baper ekor bohsia nk bertaubat lepas tgk bohsia? brapa org pusher yg insaf lepas tgk filem gangster, castello?

kalau nak sedarkan sangat, tunjuk adegan rempit tu 2-3 saat dah la. lagi 3-4 jam tu tunjuk eksiden pecah kepala patah tengkuk putus anu. baru diorang nak sedar.

kalau nak sedarkan pusher, tunjuk bab kena tangkap sampai tengkuk patah kena tali gantung. baru berkesan.

kalau nak sedarkan bohsia, tunjuk ex-bohsia yang tgh kurus kering tunggu masa nak mampus kena AIDS.

ini tidak, tunjuk bab2 seronok saja.

nak lagi best? tunjuk seksa kubo. biar derang tau seksa nnt lam kubo.

babak yg tu cepat2 lak Lembaga Penapisan Filem nak sensor. memberi impak negatif kepada kanak2 konon. pigida. br kena tekan sket dgn pengarah2 lancau dah terkincit. as an authority, you must know your responsibility and work. Jgn biarkan orang lain pengaruhi kerja kita pulak.

tak tahulah. ketahuilah wahai orang2 tua skrg. zmn remaja adalah zaman bodoh. ya aku mengaku aku pernah bodoh. apa yg ditengok, semua nak dibuat. aku pun remaja lagi. tapi dah lewat remaja la hahaha. jangan la g sodok diorang dengan filem2 picisan dengan alasan nak bagi pengajaran tapi sebaliknya mengajar pulak diorang buat kurang ajar.

filem-filem macam ni bukan berani. tapi filem kurang ajar.

chow, post pedas dari aku. babai.

a rant post

be warned that this is a rant post.

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i warned you enough... so...



I HATE MY JOB
I HATE MY JOB
I HATE MY JOB

not just the regular 'i hate my job because its boring' or other lame 'hate my 9 to 5 job' rants you see in typical stupid blogs that don't know how to differentiate between 'responsibility' and 'work'.

It's just that I REALLY HATE MY JOB.

oh noes. i don't hate my job.

i just FUCKIN HATE MY STUPID LAZY-MORON ASS BOSS!

just terminate me, idiot. i won't lose my fucking life just because im terminated from your stupid company.

Bumiputra Kelas-A kontraktor my ass
satu kulim kenal my ass
wants to be like ahmad zhaki and IJM my ass



bullshit

there are reasons why so many people quits from your company, idiot. and one most profound reason is YOU.

now you can talk cock in front of us. someday someone will bash your lazy ass without mercy.

and it's your fault your company got terminated from the project. IN YOUR FACE, SCUM!

wait till my contract is over. i will bash your stupidity here. and i will tell the readers of my blog what knd of company you own.

----

OK.

enough ranting. -back to job hunting-

Love Story

cuti yang bosan. btw pek, semlm aku bwk mel g makan2. hahahahah. mel cengal dol. skang dia petikel kat kulim. abeda.

on another note, nice la plak lagu nih.



Love Story
Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air
See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
See you make your way through the crowd
And say hello, little did I know

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase, begging you please don't go
And I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story, baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes, let's leave this town for a little while
Oh, oh

'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me, I was begging you please don't go
And I said

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story, baby just say yes

Romeo save me they're tryna tell me how to feel
this love is difficult, but it's real
Don't be afraid we'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story, baby just say yes

I got tired of waiting wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town
And I said

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I'll keep waiting for you, but you never come
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said

Marry me Juliet you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad you'll pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby just say yes
Oh, oh, oh

We were both young when I first saw you

confession

ini adalah post pengakuan. kalau rasa masalah korang sendiri dah terlampau banyak, dinasihatkan jangan baca. kang pening kepala korang. ahah.

and i warn you, this post will sound a bit cheeky, bold and seems aggressively arrogant. luls. and maybe, to ambitious.

dah warning dah, so pandai2 la korang. jangan pas baca komen2 pelik2 plak ahah.

kamu tahu apa cita cita aku dari kecik? masa umur 7 tahun rasanya, aku join rombongan nganto nenek sedara pegi haji. kat bayan lepas, pulau pinang. masa tu meriah. macam pasar malam kat situ. hampar tikar, berkelah ramai2. seronoknya. tapi kamu tahu apa yang paling menyeronokkan dalam kepala hotak 7 tahun aku masa tu?

tengok Boeing 747 teksi kat runway (when a plane is moving around an airport, we call it taxiing) luls.


a Boeing 747-400 taxiing on a runway. What a beauty.

fuh. aku tengok gergasi betui kapalterbang. macam mana dia bulih terbang nih? musykil aku. tapi memandangkan masa tu internet pun takdak lagi kat malaysia rasanya, so aku tokleh nak google hahahahah. tapi dalam hati aku dah pasang niat kuat-kuat "AKU NAK JADIK PILOT SATU HARI NANTI". bijak kan palotak aku masa tu? macam mana la aku bulih tau kapal terbang tu ade 2 ekor manusia bawak. ahahah. tapi aku tanya gak la bapak aku sapa yang pakai peak caps + epaulette + kot yang ader stripe kat lengan + tie itam. oh sungguh kacaklah jika aku dapat pakai. kan kan kan? uniform pilot tuh ahah.


:D

so sampailah sekolah menengah cita-cita aku macam tu. and i deserve having such a high ambition, because i was in an "elite school" lah kononnya. ahahah. talking about produk gagal :b

after school, i have a few choices, go straight into MAS or SIA cadetship. I wouldn't remember if MARA was sponsoring pilot students back then (2004) and i just knew they did in 2007.


singapore girls? (SIA stewardess)


or malaysian girls? luls! (MAS stewardess)

however, to go to SIA cadetship, you need to have a bachelor's degree, which didn't have, so i was left with two choices: do my degree first or directly go into MAS cadetship.

and i did not pick he latter. you know why? SIA's fleet are mostly widebody, and cater for long haul journey, so when you first enter SIA as second/first officer, chances are, you will be assigned to any widebody aircraft, unlike MAS, where you will be assigned to a 737 or fokker 50 first (both are 'small' aircraft).

plus, having a degree AND a flying license will give you an edge over someone who doesn't, right? don't argue my shallow statement, but MOST of us will think that it's cooler to have both, isn't it? =b

and luckily for me, at that time, this *ehem* company is offering me a place to pursue an engineering degree in its private university. i said to myself "this is an opportunity!". i will finish my degree first, then go to SIA!

apparently, that's not the case for me. 2009 was the suwey year for me. first, SIA stopped taking Malaysian cadets. second, MAS stopped its cadetship programme. third, MARA also rumoured to sponsor the last batch of pilot cadets in May 2009. fourth, i had a tumor as big as my fist inside my guts. fifth, i was dumped by my girlfriend. oh, lari topik plak lol.

and now, to pursue my ambition would be an uphill task. where can i find 275k to pay for the course? sure, banks can give out loans, but where can i find collateral for the loans?

and if i did manage to find the money, would i pass the Class I Medical Examination to qualify for the course with this 'thing' inside my perut?

sekarang? redha sajalah. mungkin itu bukan yang terbaik untukku. mana tau kalau bawak nanti, eksiden, mati ramai2. bek aku tayah bawak. tak apelah, jadik construction man pun takdelah susah sangat. berbakti kat negara jugak. buat landasan ketapi letrik tuh. bangga seh. hins.

dah tak larat aku pendam rasa. menangis dalam hati pasal benda-benda macam ni yang sangat-sngat menyakitkan hati yang semua jadik tahun ni jugak. apa boleh buat. no pain, no gain.



skang kumpul model sajalah. malam-malam, main sorang2 dlm bilik cam budak-budak. wiu wiu wiu. hahahahah. pathetic kan? tak apa. se pathetic aku pun, tak kacau orang. susah aku sorang. senang aku sher dgn mak ayah. sedih aku nangis sorang. ketawa, ramai2. kang orang kata gila plak ketawa sorang2.

sejujurnya, aku kecewa dengan diri sendiri sebenarnya. aku boleh pergi lebih jauh. dan mendapat yang lebih baik. nak buat macam mana. takdir sudah macam tu. otak geliga macam mana pun, kalau Allah cakap takleh pi mana, duduk situ sajalah.

grievances over dead dreams may shed the light on a better reality. - ni quote aku sendiri.

doa sajalah.

aku benci ujan

kenapa aku benci ujan:
- safety boot baru aku tercemar dengan onar2 berupa selut dan lumpur.
- site aku betul-betul bawah parit air, pas ujan bertakung cam neherem. siap ada ikan haruan 2-3 ekor tersangkut situ. rezeki bangla lol.
- tanah lembut. misin takleh masuk site. nanti sangkut.
- kena sewa pam air. duit lagi. dah la main con kaki tekan cam sial. depa ingat ujan ni ada suis on off ka
- balik umah nek moto pukul 530. on the way hujan lebat. sial.
- pekan BM jem cam neherem. tambah-tambah kalau hujan. ataupun ada nyonya rabun bawak kete besar2 tapi tak reti pakai gear 3,4,5. amoi aku salute. kete honda city, tapi cam bawak F1.

dan aku ngaku aku duk site secara haram. xde green card, takde induction course. hahah. kena saman bes nih.

sekian construction man melaporkan.

pesanan

kawan kawan

jika kamu punyai waktu panjang, nikmatilah ia sepuas puasnya
jika kamu punyai kesihatan, jagalah ia semampunya
jika kamu punyai wang, belanjalah sehemahnya
jika kamu punyai umur panjang, bersyukurlah dengannya.

aku tahu aku hipokrit memberi pesanan-pesanan itu. aku mengaku, bnyk pesanan tu yang aku tak amalkan, sengaja atau tidak sengaja. tak apa, berpesan-pesan tu nabi suruh. so baik berpesan-pesan kebaikan sementara masih ada waktu.

dan aku manusia yang banyak kelemahan.

maafkan aku sekiranya ada salah silap.
maafkan aku kalau aku tidak berlaku jujur.
maafkan aku kalau aku terlanjur kata.
maafkan aku jika tersakit hati.

aku tak sempurna.

yang pernah memberi aku hutang, terima kasih. akan aku cuba membayarnya di waktu terdekat. kalau aku dalam kubur, jangan risau, aku dah pesan baik-baik kat waris aku tolong selesaikan.
yang pernah berdendam dengan aku, harap maafkanlah. kalau aku ada salah silap, cakap lah terus terang. jangan dibawak masuk kubur. aku takmau mati tak tenang nanti.
yang pernah bagi aku makan, berjuta penghargaan aku berikan. aku tak mampu balas. tak apalah, ada malaikat kiri kanan catit amalan korang.
yang pernah memberi ilmu dan tunjuk ajar, terima kasih daun keladi. maafkan kebodohan aku.

post kali ini betul betul serius. aku tak mau nanti tak sempat, baru nak menyesal kenapa tak minta maaf awal-awal, terima kasih awal-awal.

dan kalau kamu peduli lah, akaun fs, gtalk, fb aku dah delete. so memang dah tak ada ye =)

jgn risau, henset je aku tak buang lagi.

dan sekarang beruntung tak punya sahabat karib. sekurang-kurangnya tak ada yang menangis untukku. bagi aku, tak ada faedah berkongsi kesedihan.

ketawa biar ramai ramai. menangis jangan siapa tahu.

dan untuk kamu yang pernah menjadi istimewa untukku, terima kasih untuk segalanya. maaf kalau aku tak reti menghargainya, tapi dalam hati siapa tahu? semoga kamu ada orang lain yang lebih menghargai pengorbananmu daripadaku.

jika kamu redha, aku redha.

untuk rakan-rakan yang sudah berjaya, alhamdulillah, aku tumpang gembira. yang masih menunggu P ataupun masih tercari-cari, jangan cepat mengalah. rezeki di mana-mana.

SABAR ITU PENTING.

ini baru mula nak berleter part 1. ada lagi. umur panjang, kutulis lagi rakan-rakan ye.

maaf jikalau blog jarang berupdate. internet subscription sudah tiada. terminate awal-awal senang. nanti susah pulak mak ayah kena terminate. so, kembali ke zaman menumpang broadband sekolah. he he.

doakan aku sihat selalu. terima kasih.

ps - fb lom delete. sungguh komplikated proses delete acc fb neh. gila. last resort, tutup komen tutup semua. tinggal status udeh.

simple guide to obtain a CPL/IR (frozen ATPL) - dont click if you dont know what this means! luls!

some intro picture.



luls

okay. picture this:

1. You just graduated. went through interviews. phailed! looking for jobs for months but to no avail. wtf. economic recession my ass.

2. You graduated with flying colors. offered a job. or working diligently. but no one noticed your efforts! somehow, you want adventure! and fly away from all those bonds and ties. create your own future!

3. you dream of carrying 400 lives safely from LAX to LHR (IATA, go figure hahahah) since you're a baby. and you always marvel at aviation and avionics technology.

so you came across a blog, and found a step by step guide to apply for a flying school, and ultimately be a pilot! luls.

welcome2. i will guide you step by step. dont worry. this will be the latest info as of february 2009.

lets skip the craps and begin.

1st step: Get an Approval letter from DCA

what is DCA? its short for "department of civil aviation". jabatan penerbangan awam or something like that.

send them a letter stating that you're interested in enrolling for CPL/IR (frozen ATPL) course in any certified flying school in Malaysia.

better still, go there and ask for the form.

this is the address

Director of Flight Operations

Department of Civil Aviation (DCA) Malaysia

Level 2, Blok Podium B

Lot 4G4, Precinct 4

Federal Government Administrative Centre

62570 PUTRAJAYA

bring along certified true copy of your IC AND SPM results (if you do this by mail, include both of these into your mail)

be patient as this will take, at most, a week to be processed. dont worry, as DCA will send you the approval letter through mail.

2nd step: take a look at available flying schools

here are the list of popular schools:

http://www.ggifa.edu.my/- bintulu

03 5635 2180 (hq)

http://apft.edu.my/ - kb, kelantan

03-20923177/019 2819310 (registrar office and hp)

http://www.mfa.edu.my/ - melaka

06 317 4026 or 06 317 4834

http://www.klifa.com/ - Johor

(603)-2283 5309

IT&S - Ipoh
(sori website takder tgh maintenance)
03-78064331
03-78804386
03-78804320

i want to stress on this - DO CALL THEM PLEASE!

i know there are forums dedicated to flying, eg http://forum.flydamnit.com/ but there's no other way to get the facts straight than to get them from the flying schools themselves.

you'll be surprised how happy they are to entertain your questions.

*hint - call the hq on matters pertaining intakes and financing. if you call the school directly, they will probably direct you to the hq anyway.

ask for these particulars (with no orderly manner)

- Deposit

- reg fees

- overall fees (including hostels and meals)

- additional fees (textbooks, headgears, uniforms)

- Surcharge for fuel (like airplane tickets, they really follow current fuel prices)

- extra fees for extension?- financing? MARA? Agrobank?

- next vacant intake and its frequency of intakes (typically around 6-10 intakes per year)

i would like to recommend apft and ggifa. both are new and intakes are not as much as other schools. and at the end of your studies, you will have cpl/ir (frozen atpl) AND a diploma in Aviation Management. cool. one honours degree, one diploma and a flying license! nothing is cooler than that! luls!

btw, ggifa used to be the cheapest, rm190++k but now, latest info, it'll cost you around rm275k (including hostel and meals). and they havent updated their website yet, so beware yer. too bad! i was considering this school dulu :( nak belajar kat sarawak! luls.

and some flying school accept online application, too ie apft.

ladies and gentleman. the moment of truth. the important step:

3rd step: dipping your both feet into the water (committing)

if you have done all of the things above, please take note that, if you would like to take MARA loan, typically you'll be ready to start your lesson within less than 6 months, depending on your loan provider.

one big tips - AVOID APPLYING MARA AFTER SPM RESULTS ARE BEING ANNOUNCED. try applying before spm results (not applicable to spm leavers). why? you will be competing with thousands of spm candidates who apply for MARA and their office will probably congested with forms.

anyhow, back to the guide.

basically there are a few steps involved:

1. apply for school

2. apply for loan (MARA and bank loan) using letter of acceptance issued by the school

3. pay the deposit - amounting up to rm15k (letter of placement issued by school) - this is what the bank loan is for

4. start flying! (er ground training first! be patient aa =)

next: entah, depends on my mood to write. luls. part 3 xabeh lagi. maleh lak nk sambung, so laters la ek. i promise to finish this in a fortnight.

ps - dont bug me or ask me anything about my own experience. i did it the hardest way. i wont tell. any clarification, just call the respected flying schools i mentioned. and i dont want to bear any responsibilities on any misinformation.

antara pakcik dan abang, dalam masa 12 jam

ini extreme makeover. maaf, bukan plastic surgery. tapi kisah realiti. daripada seorang pakcik, menjadi seorang abang. hanya 12 jam!

ikuti rahsianya sebentar lagi.

tahukah anda, sepupu-sepupu saya yang rata-rata berumur 1-5 tahun, baru tumbuh gigi dan belajar berkata-kata, memanggil saya pakcik. ya, betul. pakcik. dan saya seringkali ditanya "adik cikgu ka?" setiap kali pergi ke kenduri kendara ataupun ke mana-mana bersama ayah. ataupun "adik ustazah ka?" jika bersama ibu saya.

paling best? "tu bapak ustazah ka tu?" tatkala menghantar ibu mengajar disekolah. saya tak salahkan mereka walaupun rasanya mahu saja cili2kan mulut mungil mereka. mungkin kerana mereka rata-ratanya berusia 8-9 tahun. mungkin kerana pada masa tersebut, saya masih mamai dan perlu bergegas menghantar ibu pada pukul 8pagi memakai kain pelikat dan berketayap yg belum ditanggalkan sejak subuh lagi.

haha. stendet lah. muka matured.

dan suatu hari, ketika singgah di kampung, kebetulan ramai pula anak-anak kecil merangkap sepupu-sepupuku di sana. sebagai seorang sepupu yang pengasih lagi penyayang, segera dihulur gula-gula sour plum yang sengaja dibeli sewaktu dalam perjalanan tadi.

"mama, mama! pakcik tu kasik ceklet!"

...

dem sungguh. rosak mood betul. nak penampa kesian, comel plak tu. nasep hang la intan. lol.

jadi bermalamlah di kampung pada malam tersebut.

keesokan paginya, berbekalkan shaver singgit yang dibeli entah bila, terjumpak dalam beg baju, terus melangkah kebilik air.

masa tu almaklumlah. baru abeh belajar. jadi bermalas malasan lah sedikit nak trim2 janggut ni. bukan setakat janggut. misai jambang dan macam2 bulu lagi ada.

sret2. lancar sahaja bilah2 pisau mencantas helai2 janggut yang keras bak dawai besi. alamak bulu tersangkut. ketuk2 shaver. sret2 lagi. terlekat lagi. ketuk shaver lagi.

dan akhirnya, clean shave. luls. muda dan tampan bergaya sungguh. rasa macam ghey plak usha cermin lama-lama sambil memuji diri dalam hati.

abeh bersiap, lepak kat luar, dengan bapak-bapak sedara. besela, kol 8 pagi, sapkok luh.

tiba2 intan berlari2 keluar bersama adiknya. londeh2 lampin mereka. bejat dgn air mutawasitah. belum bertukar dari semalam kot. sila jangan buat2 geli. kalau geli tu maknanya korang xnah balik kampung yang ramai dak2 kecik time raya.

terus pergi ke abah mereka, menarik2 seluar jeans levis ciplak yang longgar. yang tu pun nak terlondeh gak. luls.

"abah, mama panggil makan."

(ni utk pakcik aku)

"abang, mama panggil makan!"

(ni utk aku)

BWAHAHAHA. bangganya saya ketika itu tuhan sahaja yang tahu. semalam pakcik, hari ni abang? sukses. berjaya menentang penuaan dalam hanya 12jam sahaja. nyatalah aku memang kacak hari itu.

tapi...

haih kecewanya. kalau lah intan itu seorang gadis berusia 18 tahun.

semalam kerek, pakcik2 je, tiba2 hari ni "abang~ meh makan"

bestnye.potong janggut je dah leh jadik abang. awek leh sangkut. kan best kalo camtu je.

oh mengelamun seketika.

luls

sekian post mengarut dan memuji diri secara excessive. bajet muvi curious case of benjamin la leh jadik muda balik.

ps - sila nyatakan first impression korang terhadap aku, physically, secara ikhlas dan jujur. tapi jgn la kutuk lebeh2 plak hahah. ni blog aku weh =D

oh. dan sekarang aku amat suka amoi2.

comel. macam Grace Su.

journey of life?

tagged by don.

so here it goes:

After travelling a long way, you had
reach a final junction towards your
success. On this junction there are two roads to be chosen. The first road offers you an easy path but at longer journey, very very long one compared to
the other one. The second is
extremely short but also very very difficult as people said "most of the
people traveled this road never returned".


Which road will you
take? (no one can take both road at a same time)
Why do you not choose the
other road?
What is the example in your life showing that you actually did
choose the road you stated?

lets just say the long way is a proven method, and the short way is full of uncertainties ahead.

the first road, long but proven, is an easy journey. just cruise with the flow, and you will get there, eventually, with Allah's will. a simple example will be to work with the government. most of us will agree that working in a government sector is less stressfull han working in private companies. and you must know how to trump cards (a metaphor, not asking you to gamble!) in order to make yourself known to your bosses. (if you dont know what i mean, just http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trump_(card_game)
after a while, go and enjoy your pension. go plant fruit trees. rear cattles. stay in the village. or watever you can imagine yourself doing at 55.

offtopic - i still cant believe our current PM is imagining himself doing those kind of things after he retires, in front of thousands of people! that was really an insult! no vision, no aim to improve himself or the country for goodness sake! least he can say, "i will be writing a book on etc2." or "i will look after the people in my constituency".

but "balik kampung tanam jagung"?!! not our pm please!

ok back to the tag.

as for the short route, its unproven, and we have to face obstacles to get to the top.

one thing for sure if we want to make it in the second road: we must dare to fail. and be persistent in bouncing back. it doesn't matter how many times you fall, but the most important thing is, you bounce back higher than ever before.

the most important thing when taking this course of life is having a backup plans. if youre taking degree in engineering, but you cannot finish it, what will you do? if you're not eligible for [p] interview, what's your exit plan? if you failed to secure a job in [p] what will you do? if you re not given the scholarship to pursue your dream career of flying, what will be your next step?

the key is planning ahead. they say "if you fail to plan, than youre planning to fail".

but i think that it's good to plan to fail. i mean, not to fail, but plan an exit plan if we fail.

got what im saying?

suppose we're filling a jar of milk into a glass. instead of thinking that eventually the glass will be filled with milk, we think of what is going to happen if the glass is shattered to pieces. what if the glass is already filled with red syrup? (itll be a bandung luls) what will happen if the milk overflows? or the glass is upside down? or a hollow glass? think hard. and even harder.

think outside the box.

then you will know what you want. what you need. what you have. what will you have. who can provide you with leverage, either financially or psychologically.

and you will see life will become much easier for you. and less cruel than what you have thought :)

as for me, i will take the second road.

why not first road? simple. its boring.

and i like to challenge life. not waiting to be challenged luls.

and just like what im doing right now. instead of letting [p] determine the path of my life, i carve my own.

and i think it's worth every single penny.

the conclusion? i give you the freedom to conclude my post. everyone is entitled to their own opinion. some would like a stable job, unlike me. its up to you to decide =)

adios

another 2oclock post. sigh.

ps - sorry for the red corrections from don's post. im very particular about proper grammar, esp the usage of particles (eventhough i never checked my own grammar luls)

tentang hidup

kosong. sunyi. sepi.

dilupakan?

marah barangkali?

rindu.

kekasih yang tak dianggap

dulu dulu

"awk. janji jgn mtk clash lagi"

"sampai hati awk ckp mcm tu. kan sy dah janji, tu kali terakhir sy mintak"

"ok sy pegang janji awk"

mngkin normal putus, sambung balik kot. aku cuba pujuk diri sendiri. tapi entahlah. aku tak pernah sekali pun dump dia.

dia? 3x in a row.

so, aku=loser?

tak kisahlah. dia dah janji tu yang last. harap kali ni, dah takde masalah.

dulu

waktu pagi. sekitar kl. terserempak. wajahnya mencuka.

"awak ok?" aku bertanya. concern.

"tak" tambah masam mukanya. berpaling. kasar.

"ada masalah?" soalan lagi.

"aah" pendek.

"famili?"

"tak"

"kawan?"

"tak"

"bisnes?"

"tak sangat"

"saya?"

"aah!" bingkas bangun. lari. sembunyi.

kenapa pulak ni.

"saya ada wat salah ke?"

"..."

"kalo ada salah cakap la. jangan diam macam ni" masih cuba memujuk.

"..." muka dipalingkan lagi. masam mencuka.

"awak... buat muka macam ni tak selesai masalah!"

"Awak DIAM boleh tak! sy tgh serabut ni! awk nak sy jerit kat awak sini? pergi jauh2 boleh tak? pergi balik skrg!"

tersentak. macam dah takde maruah. kena marah macam budak bodoh. depan kawan-kawan lain pulak tu.

aku marah? aku lelaki. aku berego. sudah tentu! tapi ini sangat menyeksakan. kerana ada rasa sayang.

kamu tahu marah? kamu tahu sayang? nah gabungkan kedua duanya. seksa tak?

aku terseksa.

"jom g bb. nek cab." aku ajak 2 lagi kawan-kawan di tempat kejadian. nak angkat kaki. biarlah dia dengan serabutnya.

aku? masih cuba mengutip sisa-sisa sayang dia terhadapku. dah lama berterabur. hancur.

macam hancurnya hati aku.

7 petang

012 345 6789

"awk. sori psl td. serabut sgt"

aku kembali mellow.

a month ago

mahu jadi kawan. takmo rapat sangat. mak marah.

...

malas nak komen. tak tau la ke mana sayang tu dah dibuang. jauh2 rasanya. kecik hati sangat2. mudah benar dia melupakan. buruk sangatkah aku? miskin sangatkah aku?

"eh lama tak nmpk."

"aah."

"sihat?"

"still sakit"

"xnmpk cam sakit pon. makin gemok je"

"eh ikut suka hati sayala. nk makan banyak ke. nak gemok ke. nak kurus ke. awak peduli apa. kita dah takde kena mengena bla bla bla bebel bebel potpet potpet....

"ok... "

diam. sepanjang perjalanan.

katanya nak layan mcm kawan2. tapi bergurau tak boleh.

entah lah.nak peduli sangat pun dah tak larat. dia pun dah taknak peduli pasal aku. entah entah aku mati pun dia tak nak ambik tahu.

takpe. aku boleh bahagia dgn melihat dia bahagia. walaupun lg best kalau aku yang bahagiakan dia.

kalau dengan meninggalkan dia boleh membahagiakannya, aku sanggup pergi.

semoga kamu gembira dan happy dgn hidupmu sayang.

lagu ending:

Kekasih Yang Tak Dianggap

kertas

Aku mentari
Tapi tak menghangatkan mu
Aku pelangi
Tak memberi warna dihidupmu
Aku sang bulan
Tak menerangi malammu
Akulah bintang
Yang hilang ditelan kegelapan

Selalu itu yang
Kau ucapkan padaku
Sebagai kekasih yang tak dianggap
Aku hanya bisa mencoba mengalah
Menahan setiap amarah

Aku sang bulan
Tak menerangi malammu
Akulah bintang
Yang hilang ditelan kegelapan

Sebagai kekasih yang tak dianggap
Aku hanya bisa mencoba mengalah
Menahan setiap amarah
Sebagai kekasih yang tak dianggap
Aku hanya bisa mencoba bersabar
Ku yakin kau kan berubah

*cerita fiksyen. takyah percaya. terasa amk.

currently on my playlist

*update.. lupe lak lagu ni. credit to sue ;b

Running Back
Jessica Mauboy

[Part 1]
These days, you barely even say my name,
Like you don't really feel the same,
I'm wondering what's to blame.

These nights, I fall asleep wondering where you are,
It feels like we're falling apart,
And it's only breaking my heart.

Cause if being with you means being alone,
And never knowing when you're coming home,
Then I guess I'm better off on my own.

[Chorus]
But I can't move on,
Cause that means forgetting, forgetting everything we had,
Instead I keep running, keep running, I keep running back.
Cause I keep forgetting, forgetting you treat me so bad,
So I keep on coming, keep coming, I keep coming back.
I keep coming back
I keep running back (x 2)
I keep coming back
I keep running back (x 2)
I keep coming, I keep coming back.


[Part 2]
My friends say, that I should leave you behind,
And stop wasting all of my time,
They tell me that I'm outta my mind.

But I know that what we both share is real,
And I've been willing to deal,
With the way that you're making me feel.

Cause if being with you means being alone,
And never knowing when you're coming home,
Then I guess I'm better off on my own.

[Chorus]
But I can't move on,
Cause that means me forgetting, forgetting everything we had,
Instead I keep running, keep running, I keep running back.
Cause I keep forgetting, forgetting you treat me so bad,
So I keep on coming, keep coming, I keep coming back.
I keep coming back,
I keep running back (x 2),
I keep coming back,
I keep running back (x 2),
I keep coming, I keep coming back.

[Rap]
Ma-ma-ma-mama caught up,
We done all heard the same story,
Just different authors,
this book crazy.

Always a lady,
Looking for love where there's a maybe,
They might could be together,
They fight to be together,
A'ight to be together.

Shorty, yeah he cheated,
You say you don't need it,
Turn around and leave it,
Oh, he back next week.

Fuss... Fight,
And then the whole thing repeat like nothing ever happened,
Dat was just rapping,
No publishing,
Shorty you knew that he don't got the same government.

Lil mama can't move on,
But it's her fault she struggling,
She can't... move... on.

[Chorus]
But I can't move on,
Cause that means forgetting, forgetting everything we had,
Instead I keep running, keep running, I keep coming back.
I keep coming back,
Keep running back,
And I keep coming back,
I keep running back,
I keep coming back,
I keep running back,
I keep running, keep running back.
I can keep coming back,
I can keep coming back,
I can keep running back,
I can keep coming back,
I can keep running back...
To you.


_____________

Tergantung Kamu
Chiquita Meidy

Sayang apa kamu tahu
Aku sudah tahu semua kartumu
Sayang aku tlah dapatkan
Cara yang mudah menghadapi dirimu

Reff:
Jangan kau buat aku jadi mainanmu
Karna nanti dirimu yang kan jadi mainanku
Aku setia bila kau juga setia
Ku berikan semua yang ku punya untukmu

Tapi tergantung kamu
Tergantung kamu

Sayang aku sudah tahu
Jalan pikiranmu sekarang
Sayang lama-lama aku
Meninggalkan kamu bila begitu

Back to Reff:

Jangan kau buat aku jadi mainanmu
Ku berikan semua yang ku punya untukmu

Tapi tergantung kamu
Tergantung kamu
Tergantung kamu

_____________


CINTA TERHALANG
BOB AF2

Rasa lahirnya impianku
Bila terpandang wajahmu
Lirik senyuman kilauan sinar/mata
Memikat memukau jiwa ini

Ingin aku menyapa
Mahu ku kenali hatimu
kusedari ini bukan biasa/
Terkilanku memang ini
Khayalan

(chorus)
Tak dapat aku lindungi perasaan
Engkau impian yang aku idamkan
Kau yang ku puja, kau yang ku sanjung
Kau yang aku perlukan/angankan
Kau yang ku sayang, kau yang ku cinta
Kaulah satu cinta terhalang

Engkau lafazkan/lepaskan perasaan
Setulus hati jiwamu
penuh keikhlasan, penuh bermakna
Memikat hati dan naluriku

walaupun kau sedari
Kau tetapkan perasaanmu
Kau berikan cinta yang terpendam/
Terkhayal

(Ulang korus)

Walau ku tahu kita
Tak mungkin bersama
Tetap ku sanjung.…
Cintamu yang suci yang bermakna/terhalang ohh…

2009 resolution

its already 5% of 2009. i know its late. i know its not that meaningful.

and i know nobody cares.

well, i dont care because this is my personal space. and i'm a firm believer in 'all those small things in life matters'. thats why im going to have a late, simple, but achievable resolution for 2009.

1. i will stop eating spicy food and chillies that has been my favourite since i was a kid. i believe this will somehow reduce my temper and stomach-hell for me. ive just recovered from 3 weeks of constant diarrhoea. and its a hell. so two birds with a stone. bad stomach and bad temper.
2. i will get employed in february. no matter what. no matter what job. no matter how much the pay is going to be.
3. get through [p] interview and impress the interviewer. how? it's a trade secret.
4. maximum 4 months wait for [p] call-up. then i'll assume they do not want me. i will pursue my dream of flying.
5. if [p] hires me. i will work for them diligently. but i will still chase my dream. sooner or later.

5 is enough. all achievable. all workable.

my financial goal is to save rm10k bt the end of this year.

good luck to me.

pembangunan?

"sepanjang di bawah pemerintahan XXX ni pakcik, sejauh mana pembangunan yang dibawak?"

"Pokcik xnampak ada sebarang pembangunang di sini. bangunang2 yang ade pong hasil pemerintoh hok dulu. bangunan skang dah lame2 blake"

pembangunan = bangunan tinggi2, baru2, besar2, lawa2 ke?

sempit sungguh lah pemikiran pakcik tua tersebut. kampung sungguh. simple sungguh. ada bangunan, maju. ada leterik, maju. ada air, maju. ada sekolah, maju. ada masjid, maju. biarlah xde org semayang pun. asal nama mesjid baru, maju.

kalau bangunan baru-baru, faedah direct untuk pakcik ada ke?

mmg lah ada. contohnya ekonomi berkembang. ada tempat berniaga. org buat pejabat. tapi apa faedahnya kalau rakyat sendiri tak mampu menikmati kesannya? duit takdak nk berbelanja. nak berhibur. nak melancong. nak berjalan2.

dah tu main-mainkan benda retorik pulak. janji pilhanraya tak tertunailah. berpecah belahlah. jgn mainkan kaum lah.

xde sapa pun yang main2kan pasal perkauman ni. perasan sangat. cuba control sikit nafsu tu. istighfar banyak2. ingat tuhan.

marah sungguh aku kat reporter nih. dressing stylo tak nak kalah. pemikiran kampung sangat. yelah mana x kampungnya, pembangunan dikira kalau ada api air sekolah masjid. tu dah memang tanggungjawab kerajaan. sapa sapa lah yang jadik kerajaan, tok guru ka, imam hadhari ka, beruk oxford ka, putera mongolia ka, memang lah kena buat semua tu.

keperluan vs kehendak

tanggungawab vs jasa

u decide. i blog. lol

the call (sila baca sambilpasang lagu the call-bsb)

still waiting for the call. most of my friends already have. and im stuck here. still waiting for the call.

sorry for the lack for updates. it's been 3 days im with my grandpa. just hope he can recover soon so i can go back to job hunting.

seems that my loan bond has been a major reason why my resumes are being rejected. had to remove that part.

sigh.

and just yesterday, i received my result transcript. kinda late, really. now only i can apply jobs using my degree, instead of my SPM.

just... pray for me lah. sigh.

ps- i sighed a lot lately. "sindrom anggur" has gotten into me, i guess. sigh

the not-so-happy-new-year for me

when asked about my new year, i dont have much to comment. to be honest, i dont really celebrate any new year - at all. I dont even watch the countdown. Why? honestly, i dont see the point of celebrating another day in a year. It just mark the beginning of a new calendar. nothing significant anyway. and all those firework displays? concerts? entertainment overload? waste of time and money. those celebrations are just for brats who dont know where else to throw away their parent's money.

sorry for the harsh statement. it's been a bad day for me.

first, the lcd display of the latop i borrowed from my friend blacked out. turns out it has some problem with its backlight.

then ive got this bad flu. i slept the whole day in the new year! just woke up. still dizzy and suffering from running nose till now.

then the usb ports on my desktop are behaving crazily. which means nothing can be connected to my desktop pc. except for the mouse. darn

on a positive note, today is the first day of my celcom broadband postpaid subscription. so you'll be seeing me update this blog frequently. that is, if im not busy and in the mood of writing :)

each day this blog is becoming like my personal diary, instead of the place where i put my thoughts. i think im going to change my tone a bit in my next posts. maybe post about sports, politics etc.

its 3am and i know its unusual to post an unusually long blog post at this time lol

just watched mr n mrs smith. hahahah. surprisingly this story is just like me n my gf. story of ego and hardheadedness. brutality in fights lol. but, when its sweet, only we know how sweet can it be. isnt it honey? :p

semester is ending. my undergraduate studies is ending. im counting days now. waiting for my clearance. turns out i still owe utp rm90 worth of fines. all three back in may 2007, even before my internship. and now have to wait for approval for fine reduction. for goodness sake rm 90 is worth more than a week's living cost here! i just hope i can get a reduction up to rm30-40

so this is it. might be my last post for my blog from utp (if i dont have the mood to write again these few days lol). here i want to dedicate some sayonara greetings to my some of special ones:

my one and only girlfriend, noor akmal:
thank you and sorry for everything, my girl. thanks for all the care. and letting me care for you. letting me share your problems whenever you need someone. letting me be a bad bf and still forgives me. and most importantly for letting me love you =)

i know our last days together in utp was certainly not the best times we had, but circumstances are not on our side, and i believe both of us understands it completely, though i must say im very disappointed =( if only i could turn back time b, if only i could.

i know we always had fights. over small things. and sometimes our fights are really hideous. well, most of the times. maybe that's our strength, really kan syg?

but remember the good times will you? those bunnies i sent to you every night. tha birthday song i sang to you on your birthday. my first present for you (the blue thing =) the kenduri with sedondon baju raya thing. the moment u gave me the bunny. the card u wrote to me spontaneously. and lastly, my next present for you. im sure ure going to be surprised. really2 surprised ;)

those are the things that really makes me miss you so much.

you are my baby. and will always be my baby =)

my beloved roommate, gaban:
i know this will sound gay, but he is certainly the best roommate i had. thank you for respecting my privacy. and though both of us never really talked to each other until recently, i still respect you.

tq sbb ajak makan. ajak g ipoh. bahan kimok sama2. usha jikku berkasih sayang bersama2. kena orbit pon sama2 hahah. sori sbb kincat ko pasal bazler eh. hahah. jgn amik siyes rumet. da 3 thn duk sama lol. pape pun best of luck yer rumet tersayang.

osmet kimok n jikku:
dulu jarang lepak sama. kos pon lain2. tp lepas intern selalu mkn sama. sori kimok bnyk bahan hang. takde lele, hang la mangsa. hahah jikku, cirit2 kasih sayang pon still xlupa osmet. cayalah asenel. hahah

bdk2 civil len:
thanx for these wonderful 4-5 years together. geng2 semsas. geng2 budu. geng2 lifuki n matle.dak2 pompuan yg siyesli aku tak kenal sgt pn b4 intern hahahah. x lupa ct haida. tengs for all the notes. i realy really really appreciate it syg (usop jgn marah haa =p) wish u guys all the best. nnt dah berkarier gaji 5figure jgn lupa member yer hehe

amy
tengs sbb jadik a very good girl friend. tq sbb not judgmental towards me. though i know u had this hostile thought of me, but i think even the meanest guy in this world would think twice, no, thrice, to do bad things to you simply because, well, you are too sweet. yeah i said it lol. you are sweet, not bajet sweet. hihi.

good luck in life. nnt nk buat nasik minyak jgn lupa jemput yer hahaha.

#helloproject:
ni cenel takleh lupa nih. the channel that lets me express myself without ppl being judgmental. thanx 4 everything. this is where i learn that virtual relations can be expressed in reality. thanx for all the maples and mekdis and kepsis.

n this is where i found my love too. hahaha.

gud lak everyone. yg blom grad tu semoga dapat score and secure a good job later

mazrep:
tq sbb jadik kwn yg bek. aku ade problem leh cite kat ko.

aku konpes aku x gay sekian.

mekaseh jadik rakan lepak aku masa kat klcc dulu. aku tau ak ni membosankan. dahla mulut laser xde insuran. tahan gak telinga ko tuh ye. agaknya dah bese kene tala ngan munir kot hahah.

kN:
tq for helping me hooking up with chunk. and well, for breaking us apart once =b i know u only think the best for both of us. and i know i was stupid at that time. well, i still think of you as a special friend. not far enough to be a stranger, and not close enough to be too personal to each other. thus the status lets us share our problems without guilt or feeling hostile.

#natto
frankly i dont know why i joined this channel in the first place. im from the 2nd generation. the time when yatie was still with ash. and mazrep, munir was still unheard of in this channel. i enjoyed each and every outings i have with u guys. thank you very much for pretty much everything =)

syncmaster
sori terhutang lama sikit duit mum. nk wat camne im in financial trouble and i know i was at fault.mayb i spent too much. bkn xmo baya utang, im trying my best. jgn sbb hutang putus kawan. aku tau ade lg baki hutang n believe me, im working on it.

and just in case youre wondering, i paid it using my own money. not hers ok.

freestylers
tq sbb bg aku peluang masuk circle korg. stat dr v2 lg. mekaseh sbb aja aku cane nk paham kecek klate. n ganu. hahah.

tq for the great bbq yesterday. it was awesome.

picisan
not much to say, tp tq jelah for the evening exercise kat padang v4 hahah

#linux
nice staying there, though i dont use linux regularly. even for the servers, i use BSD. haha. but it doesnt matter as long as we're in the *NIX family =b

dc++ team
tq for the bans, recommendations, help etc2x. i really appreciate it. its been a year since i take over this hub, and its been a great pleasure serving utp students

i guess thats all for now. utp will always be in my heart. and i ranked it as my number two, after kys for my favourite place =) thanx everyone around me. directly or indirectly involved in my life - pacik macik gad, pak ali, tokei2 kafe len, brader koept, akak kopet, semoga dapat baby comel nnt yer hehe, macik cleaner, brader itm ass, staf2 n lecerer.

bye bye utp. sayounara.

about my relationship

how long?

1yr+. aniversary? nil. on off on off. the chase never ends. that's what makes it interesting. she really does know well how to play hide n seek. n when to ease off just when im about to give up.

kalau jiwang 24 jam seminggu 7 hari bosan lah. kan f00?

we certainly dont have the best love story, but certainly our story is not a classic one. both hard headed, both born with temper problems. and both have a big fat E that sticks out of our head (ego). and the fights? hahah. kalah laki bini.

but who knows how sweet can we be when we're not into fights :D

how does its started? (the relationship)

friend. enemy. friend. close friend. very close friend. er. how much closer can u get luls.

tgh cuti. texting. bosan. call. bosan. texting. call. n then kuar lirik lagu. n then kuar lirik2 kompesen. n then kompesen dah tak jadik lirik lagu dah. hahah.

is she/he the one? (so far..)

yes!


what u like most about him/her?

lets just say everything about her. well, except her temper. hahah.

wat i like the most? when i make her smile. sense of ego-feeding orgasmic pleasure when i can turn her frown into smile whenever she's down. nothing beats that.

best moment of us?

dapat kad + soft toy. berani dia bg soft toy kat aku ni?! grr dah la muka garang, xmacho bakk aa simpan soft toy hahah. tp first time dpt dr org. kinda agitated luls.

saddest moment of us?

im graduating. she has one more semester. we have 1 more week to be spent together. suddenly she fell sick. a really painful disease. she even refused to meet me because it's affecting her face and might leave a scar. after quite a lengthy comforting, i managed to get a nod for a last date. and god knows how devastated i am to see her fell sick like that. i would want to switch places with her if i could, but i just couldnt. but i know, 'berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul'. semoga cepat sembuh ye syg.

n the next day she went home, thus ending our relationship in utp abruptly, and starting our ldr. i wont be here anymore. sad sad sad

long distance? what gives you the trust to hold on a relationship?

im proud to say that we actually became closer during LDR. nothing tops the feeling of being back together after a long suffering separation :b and i trusted her with all my heart (kadang2 je jeles. stendet la tu. jeles tanda sayang, bkn tanda xpecaya hahahah)

bcos i know, she's not the fllirting type. she's the garang type. rawr! tah camne aku leh brani kompes aku pn tatau. hahah.

harap berkekalan. harap xde halangan orang tua. harap jodoh panjang. itu jela.

tips?

bila begadoh tu, dah tau sorang tu mmg temper, biar je dia. dalam 2 3 jam (worst case, sehari dua) cooldown blk ok la. jgn gatal2 g pujuk lak. lg teruk kene marah kang (applicable hanya kepada yg ade pasangan bad temper SAHAJA. len2 dulik hape aku nk pujuk2 lol)




ps - ye saya kompes sy kapel ngan adik member. ade masalah?